I went to the cinema, finally seeing I Am Legend. And what happens? A school class is with me.
I saw them in the lobby of the cinema, thinking, “nah, they’re not going to watch I Am Legend. They’ll see Into the Wild, or some other, educational thing”. Man, was I wrong.
Don’t get me wrong. I like kids. But when they hit puberty they are best kept somewhere dark and damp until they are human again.
All my hopes that I could actually enjoy the cinematic experience, because I happened to stumble upon the one reasonable class that has to exist somewhere in the world, were destroyed after the first movie trailer. It was the trailer to The Dark Knight. I was very excited because until tonight I had only seen it in crappy quality on the net. At the end of the trailer a girl says, “Oh my God, I have to see this movie. [pause and the film title appears] Oh no, it’s Batman.” Well, what the hell did you think it was? It had The Joker and a good looking guy in a black cape. Did you believe it was Rambo 26?
There were those who understood a little English and translated for the others. And the others had to announce that they didn’t understand so loudly that everyone knew. And then, of course, the translation came from three rows back and unfortunately, I was caught in the middle.
After that, there was a perceivable dichotomy in the group: there were the people who obviously had never seen a horror movie before and started shouting at the half of the movie, “Don’t die! Get up and run! DON’T DIE!!!!!”. And there were those who had already seen one and had to demonstrate that by giggling condescendingly whenever the other group made a noise.
I blame the teacher. She had to go and be cool and destroy the cinematic experience of the other five people in the room. Next time, why don’t you go during the day when you can have the screen to yourself?
kalafudra's Stuff 
Heh. Well…adolescents can always be forgiven. I ruined 2001: A Space Odyssey for my cousins when I was 16. :)
And I was being soooooo good about not spoiling this one for you!
Playing devil’s advocate, we were probably little better when we went to see a film with school. (“The Body”? *shudder*) Or with half our class (“Alexander” *hehe*)
Also, you and I both know that we don’t even need a larger group to ‘destroy the cinematic experience of the other five people in the room’ … I clearly remember somebody actually singing – SINGING – during a certain unmentionable Orlando Bloom epic, the name of which shall never be mentioned again. … But it was a beautiful movie. Such a beautiful movie. The most beautiful movie of them all. Truly beautiful.
I laughed so hard (and so loudly) I actually fell off my chair at one point.
When did we see “The Body” and what movie is it anyway and what are you talking about?
Alexander deserved it. The most beautiful movie deserved it, with the beautiful brother and the beautiful sister and the beautiful tree … uhm… Orlando Bloom. I Am Legend didn’t. :)
Anyway, I know, I understand and I forgive adolescence. But going through it myself gave me the right, if not the duty to critisise my behaviour in others.
*singing* I am what I am….
Oh, right…we went to see “The Body” with Culver…so you probably weren’t there. But I’m sure we saw a movie or two with Scholz as well. I just succeeded in forgetting them.
“The Body” is a modern masterpiece of sucky-cinema, starring Jerusalem (she’s breathtaking)…and also Antonio Banderas as a Jesuit monk who finds the remains of Jesus Christ. The fewer words are spent on this, the better.
I know how you’re feeling, anyway. I wanted to spend a deliciously brainless evening with “The Lake House” … but the teens in the back row thought it was more fun to set fire to their popcorn…and their bags…and the furniture. So I ended up with homicidal rage instead of that warm, fuzzy feeling I feel entitled to when spending money on a Sandra Bullock rom-com.
Ah, now I know at least which movie you’re talking about… I’m not sure we ever went to the cinema with Scholz. We watched movies in class and we went to the English Theatre…
The thing is, teenagers are waaaay to common. I mean, everybody is complaining about how birth rates are reduced and everything and still, I manage to have every third or fourth movie ruined by them…
Btw, does anybody else think I sound like my own grandma?
Not knowing your grandma that well, I wouldn’t know.
But I can confirm that you sound like a reactionary old hag ^_^
I think that teenagers have always been around…and they will always be around. I blame parents for not teaching their children cinema-etiquette. And cinemas for not having a guy in the room to kick out noise-makers. And teachers for being unable to assess whether or not their class can be let loose on the innocent public or not.
…that makes me a reactionary old hag, too.
@kalafudra & deadra
You will definitely not enjoy an Indian cinema hall then. It’s not just the adolescents who make noise there.
I don’t mind noises, and I even like comments during the movies, if they are witty and fitting. But I can’t stand unstoppable chatter, especially if the film is good and sad and the chatter is of “what-is-happening-what-is-he-doing-what-does-it-mean-what-is-this-film-about-anyway” quality.
Fortunately for me, for I will lead a better life, I sound much more bitter right now than I actually am. I can’t say that about you, though, Deadra… you are as bitter :P
But I can imagine that Indian cinema is not my kind of cinema. Especially if they show a Bollywood-film *shudder*
I wear my bitterness with pride. …. it would be even more pathetic otherwise ;-)
*And when the chains on my wrist chime…their sound says I am yours…*
kabhi shut up…
@Kalafudra
i don’t like bollywood filcks either …
but I was not referring to Indian Cinema but the hall.. People just go crazy. Especially if its some big shot indian actor or if they don’t get the movie.
Maybe I should just avoid people in general… :)