Dear God No! (2011)

Dear God No!
Director: James Bickert
Writer: James Bickert
Cast: Jett Bryant, Madeline Brumby, Paul McComiskey, Olivia LaCroix, Shane Morton, John Collins, Nik Morgan, James Bickert
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

[Trigger Warning]

Plot:
The Impalers are a motorcycle gang as bad as they come. But after raping and murdering a group of nuns, they lose even the support of their fellow-bikers. After a shoot-out at a bar, where the Impalers kill everyone, they make their escape to a remote cabin, taking the family living there as hostages. What seems as an easy continuation of their blood spree at first, turns a little more complicated when they find that the family is hiding a secret in the basement.

Dear God No! did not work at all for me. Apart from disgusting, this movie was just disgusting.

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Father’s Day (2011)

Father’s Day
Director: Adam Brooks, Jeremy Gillespie, Matthew Kennedy, Steven Kostanski, Conor Sweeney
Writer: Adam Brooks, Jeremy Gillespie, Matthew Kennedy, Steven Kostanski, Conor Sweeney
Cast: Adam Brooks, Matthew Kennedy, Conor Sweeney, Amy Groening, Garrett Hnatiuk, Mackenzie Murdock
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

[Trigger Warning]

Plot:
The Father’s Day Killer aka Chris Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock) has been killing and raping fathers for years. He has also killed Ahab’s (Adam Brooks) father and Ahab has sworn to take bloody revenge. But when he kills an innocent man instead, he gets imprisoned. In the meantime, Fuchman goes about his murders unhampered and also kills Twink’s (Conor Sweeney) father, managing to implicate Twink – a street hustler – in the process. Through various circumstances, Ahab, Twink and Father John Sullivan (Matthew Kennedy) team up to hunt Fuchman down.

Father’s Day doesn’t take itself seriously at all and is a whole lot of (often very silly) fun. But admittedly, even though I’m not easily impressed by gore, in this film it gota little too disgusting even for me at times.

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Citadel (2012)

Citadel
Director: Ciaran Foy
Writer: Ciaran Foy
Cast: Aneurin Barnard, James Cosmo, Wunmi Mosaku, Jake Wilson, Amy Shiels
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

Plot:
Tommy (Aneurin Barnard) was happily married to Joanne (Amy Shiels). They were expecting a baby and about to move out of a run-down apartment complex when Joanne is murdered by hooded children. This leaves Tommy with a baby and agoraphobia. Months late,. he is barely coping when those children show up again and seem to be coming for his baby.

Citadel started off great – tense, moody and with a wonderful lead. And while Aneurin Barnard stays good through the entirety of the film, the film itself doesn’t, instead descends into a conservative’s nightmare (by that I mean of a conservative, not for a conservative. I’d probably enjoy the hell out of a nightmare for a conservative).

[SPOILERS]

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V/H/S (2012)

V/H/S (it’s a horror anthology with the following segments)
Segment Tape 56
Director: Adam Wingard
Writer: Simon Barrett
Cast: Calvin Reeder, Lane Hughes, Kentucker Audley, Adam Wingard
Segment Amateur Night
Director: David Bruckner
Writer: David Bruckner, Nicholas Tecosky
Cast: Mike Donlan, Joe Sykes, Drew Sawyer, Hannah Fierman
Segment Second Honeymoon
Director: Ti West
Writer: Ti West
Cast: Joe Swanberg, Sophia Takal, Kate Lyn Sheil
Segment Tuesday The 17th
Director: Glenn McQuaid
Writer: Glenn McQuaid
Cast: Norma C. Quinones, Drew Moerlein, Jeannine Elizabeth Yoder, Jason Yachanin
Segment The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger
Director: Joe Swanberg
Writer: Simon Barrett
Cast: Helen Rogers, Daniel Kaufman
Segment 10/31/98
Director: Radio Silence (aka Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Justin Martinez, Chad Villella)
Writer: Radio Silence (aka Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Justin Martinez, Chad Villella)
Cast: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Chad Villella, Paul Natonek
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

[Trigger Warning]

Plot:
A group of young men (Calvin Reeder, Lane Hughes, Kentucker Audley, Adam Wingard) who make their money with sexually assaulting women are hired to retrieve a mysterious video tape from an apparently empty house that is filled with video tapes. As they don’t know which tape to take, they start packing them all up. While they do that, one by one they start watching the tapes that are filled with horrifying found footage.

The quality of the segments varies wildly, but the general framing is pretty weak. Generally I’m afraid that my expectations were just way too high – even though I’m not a fan of found footage in general, I had heard only good things and how scary it was, but the movie just doesn’t live up to that.

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Workshop Discussion with Marvin Kren

Marvin Kren is an Austrian filmmaker who made his debut with the zombie movie Rammbock and has just finished shooting his new movie Glazius, the first Austrian monster film. During the /slash Filmfestival he and festival director Markus Keuschnigg discussed making a movie, especially a monster movie and we got to see the first teaser tailer for Glazius.

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El páramo [The Squad] (2011)

El páramo
Director: Jaime Osorio Marquez
Writer: Jaime Osorio Marquez, Diego Vivanco, Tania Cardenas
Cast: Juan Pablo Barragan, Alejandro Aguilar, Mauricio Navas, Juan David Restrepo, Andrés Castañeda, Nelson Camayo, Julio César Valencia, Daniela Catz
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

Plot:
After years of battling guerillas, a squad of soldiers arrives at a base that has been incommunicado for a while. They are supposed to check in on them and see what’s going on, but as soon as they arrive there they notice that something is very wrong. The base seems abandoned, there’s blood and destruction everywhere and all they can find is a woman (Daniela Catz) who has been walled up, surrounded by supernatural paraphenilia.

The squad starts off atmospheric and tight, but unfortunately it can’t keep that up and descends into boredom with a very healthy dose of misogyny.

[SPOILERS]

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Kazoku konpurîto [The Family Complete] (2010)

Kazoku konpurîto
Director: Kouichi Imaizumi
Writer: Kouichi Imaizumi
Cast: Jinta Fujimaru, Hotaru, Kouichi Imaizumi, Takahiro Inoue
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

Plot:
The grandpa of the family contracted a weird virus which leads to the entire family to want to fuck him and nobody else. Only one of the grandsons is able to resist him, but that leads to some serious tension within the family.

I think The Family Complete is supposed to be funny but the reaction it got from me was a mix of bewilderment and boredom. I just really didn’t get its sense of humor, instead I thought that it confused WTFery with art.

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Porno Shorts

At this year’s /slash Filmfestival, there was a porno short film collection curated by the people of the Porn Filmfestival Berlin and the Vienna Independent Shorts Festival.

The collection was an interesting mix and sometimes surprisingly not pornographic at all. After the jump, I’ll talk about them one by one.

Just a warning, if the title wasn’t enough, this post is NSFW. I should also add a Trigger Warning for the first film and possibly the second.

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Piranha 3DD (2012)

Piranha 3DD
Director: John Gulager
Writer: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Joel Soisson
Sequel to: Piranha
Cast: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Katrina Bowden, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Chris Zylka, Paul James Jordan, Meagan Tandy, David Koechner, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Gary Busey, David Hasselhoff
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

Plot:
After the death of her mother, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) and her stepdad Chet (David Koechner) inherited the family’s waterpark. Unfortunately for Maddy, Chet owns 51% and has very specific plans for the park (they mostly include boobs and parties). But right before the opening, with star guest David Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff), Maddy’s friend is attacked by piranhas in a nearby lake. Maddy worries that the fish will find their way into the park. But nobody takes her seriously.

By no means is Piranha 3DD a good film. But watching it during a film festival in a sold out cinema that greeted you with David Hasselhoff songs to get you in the mood and with a cup of vodka, graciously given by a fellow festival-goer, in hand, it was an absolutely glorious experience.

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Lawless (2012)

Lawless
Director: John Hillcoat
Writer: Nick Cave
Based on: Matt Bondurant‘s novel The Wettest Country in the World
Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy, Jason Clarke, Jessica Chastain, Guy Pearce, Mia Wasikowska, Dane DeHaan, Gary Oldman
Part of: /slash Filmfestival (it was the surprise movie)

Plot:
In the depression era, the Bondurant brothers, Jack (Shia LaBeouf), Forrest (Tom Hardy) and Howard (Jason Clarke), are successful bootleggers who have an understanding with the local police and a very good reputation. But then a new deputy – Charlie Rakes (Guy Pearce) – enters the scene. When Rakes doesn’t get what he wants, the pressure rises for the Bondurants. At the same time Jack, the youngest and softest, desperately wants to prove his worth and starts business with the mobster Floyd Banner (Gary Oldman).

Lawless was really great. Basically my only point of contention is that Gary Oldman was in it for a few minutes only (you can never have enough Gary Oldman).

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