When were you happiest?
Ever? Don’t know. Despite my depression, I’m a pretty happy person.

What is your greatest fear?
To disappoint myself.

What is your earliest memory?
Sitting in the grass outside our first house. Crawling into my parents’ bed in the same house. [I must have been two or so.]

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
There is not one single person I admire as a whole. I admire lots of parts of lots of people, but the same people usually also have parts I don’t admire that much.

Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My computer, I guess.

What is your most treasured possession?
My diaries and organisers that I’ve kept since I was ten years old.

What makes you unhappy?
Sitting at home, all ready to spend a nice evening in my pjs on the couch and then discovering that I don’t have any cigarettes anymore. Which either means not smoking (which I can deal with, but, who am I kidding, I’m an addict) or getting up again and buying some (dreadful idea).

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Okay, of course I would love dinner with my friends and my family, but what are dream dinner parties for if you don’t dream big? So I’d say Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer, Christian Bale (well, he can leave his wife at home… ;), Edward Norton, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, China Miéville, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
For Jasper Fforde’s sake, the dodo, of course.

What is your favourite smell?
Roses, coffee, chocolate.

What is your favourite book?
Only one? Not going to happen.

Cat or dog?
Dog.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Crappy books.

What do you owe your parents?
Pretty much everything.

What, or who, is the greatest love of your life?
What? Books. Who? Who knows?

What has been your biggest disappointment?
I honestly can’t think of anything right now.

How do you relax?
By spending some quality time with myself.

How often do you have sex?
Once every hundred years or so.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
No big disappointments, but no great achievements, either. What a sad life I’m living.

How would you like to be remembered?
As a kind and brave person.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Everything’s relative.

Where would you most like to be right now?
I’m actually quite content with were I am right now.

Tell us a secret.
But if I tell, it won’t be a secret anymore…