I Am Not a Serial Killer is the first novel in the John Wayne Cleaver series by Dan Wells.
Finished on: 10.6.2024
[Here’s my review of the movie adaptation.]

Content Note: ableism/saneism

Plot:
John isn’t your typical teenager. Not only does his family – that is his mother April and his aunt Margaret – run the local funeral home and John loves to help out there with the dead bodies, he was also diagnosed with sociopathy, so he’s constantly worrying that he might end up being the serial killer sociopaths in movies always turn out to be. But then John comes to believe that an actual serial killer has come to John’s hometown and since nobody believes him, he will have to actually hunt him down.

I saw the movie adaptation when it came out 8 years ago and was so taken by it, I immediately bought myself the book – and then, as these things go, the book just lay on my nightstand for almost a decade. But I finally read it, only I might have been too late. It just didn’t work for me as well as the movie did at the time.

It is possible that the movie adaptation is better than the book. This happens every once in a while. But I think it is more likely that the movie caught me at the right time, and the book just did not. Tastes change, and I think I have moved on a little from this kind of serial killer stuff (which I was never the biggest fan of to begin with).

In any case, I Am Not a Serial Killer is a quick read, aimed more at teenagers than at adults, which usually means that you can just blaze through the books. It is well paced, and I still like the central idea of it, that is: having a “sociopathic” (not the official diagnosis term anymore) main character who doesn’t just relish in cruelty, but is well aware of the risk that he may be cruel without intending to do so and trying to avoid it.

But here’s my biggest issue with the book overall. The problem with the way John and his mental illness are portrayed here is that it basically posits that anyone with Antisocial Personality Disorder is bound to become a killer, unless they have like superhuman willpower. And that’s not only not true, it’s rather slanderous. The book turns to more fantastic elements, later, that kind of underscore that point because in some respects, the supernatural being here is more human than John is made out to be.

The book is right on the fence for me between being good enough that I would want to continue the series, and not. But after thinking about it for a little while, I think I’ll just leave it at that.

Summarizing: maybe I should re-watch the film now, but the book is not for me.