I want to see this movie

Said Christian Bale [before agreeing to do Terminator]:

If you can get the script to a place where actors on stage could just read it, naked, and it would be compelling for two hours because the characters change and evolve, then we’d have something to talk about.

That I want to see! Naked Christian Bale performing a good play/movie? Dreams come true…

Speaking of his hotness. You’ve probably all heard the mp3 of him blowing up on the set of Terminator. But have you heard the remix yet? It’s genius!

Answering Questions Asked Through Google XXII

People, tell me what’s up with Luca Toni? These days I get more hits by people looking for him than I do by people looking for Christian Bale or Ryan Reynolds. Which is a pretty new development.
And anyway, how come I get most hits for (pictures of) the hot guys? I write about so many things… like this:

“was paul dano in tropic thunder on the p”?

On the p-what, I don’t know, but it doesn’t really matter: I’m pretty sure that the answer to all the questions that could come from this beginning is no. As far as I know, Paul Dano had nothing to do with Tropic Thunder at all.

“how do you say quantum of solace in span[ish]”?

Seems like it goes untranslated in Spanish, but it depends on where you live. What it means is “cuanto de consolación”. [And I translated this with a dictionary, I don’t speak Spanish. I’m not responsible for any mistakes. :)]

But I tell you, be happy about that. In German, they translated it to “Ein Quantum Trost”, notwithstanding that in German, the word Quantum doesn’t actually exist. [If you want to translate it scientifically, it would be Quant and if you want to translate it for the meaning, the best version would have been Quäntchen, imo.]

Translations suck.

I guess you all know what this blog post will be about…

In case you don’t: The Dark Knight, Batman, Christian Bale, Christian Bale’s yummy ass, Christian Bale’s other yummy features, Bruce Wayne, The Joker, Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, Rachel Dawes, quotes, but also, sadly, refrigerators. And anything else that keeps me from swooning in the middle of this post.

So, yesterday was Christmas. And Easter. And my birthday. And every other holiday in the world that means anything to me or anybody else. And of course, yesterday was the premiere of The Dark Knight in Austria.

Where should I start? I guess, best by saying that my expectations were so high, they were nearly beyond achievable, but this movie did it anyway. It’s a wonderful feeling, when you can expect so much and still leave the movie theatre completely satisfied.

[If there’s anybody left, who hasn’t seen the movie yet (like all the Austrians, who didn’t get premiere tickets), be warned, after the picture and the break, there will be SPOILERS!]

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Answering Questions Asked Through Google VI

In the last weeks, my blog got most hits through Christian Bale and Christian Bale’s wife and Christian Bale wife.

On the one hand, I’m really flattered that people actually turn up on my blog when looking for Christian Bale or Sibi Blazic, on the other hand, I can’t help but be afraid that people will be disappointed, when they do – I’m not much into the things like “oh, Christian [I hope you don’t mind that I call you that, Mr. Bale] did not look happy, I’m afraid that he’s getting divorced!” [which is NOT TRUE! Or maybe it is, but I wouldn’t know.]

Anyway, here’s today’s question [I won’t answer “who is christian bale married to?” again, although it came complete with question mark]:

“is sibi blazic croatian”?

[Before I answer: Why do people care so much about the nationality of actors or actor-related people? Not that I’m an exception to the rule. But it is kind of weird, isn’t it?]

Sibi Blazic was born in Chicago, grew up in Bosnia and now lives in Los Angeles. As usual, I don’t know, what exactly that means, because I don’t know, what she would define herself as. But I’m pretty sure that she would not define herself as Croatian.

[Btw, I hope that no one takes it personal that I categorised Sibi Blazic under Christian Bale, I just didn’t know where else to put her. If you have another suggestion, please let me know!]

Scottish Guys In Good And Not So Good Movies

I finally made it to the movies to watch Nim’s Island, Cassandra’s Dream and Lars and the Real Girl.

Nim’s Island was really sweet and funny. It was a tad weird that deadra and me were the only people in the cinema, neither of us being the target audience, but who cares.
The story is how you imagine it to be, the acting is really good. I don’t think that I have seen Jodi Foster acting so joyfully in a long time. Abigail Breslin … what can I say? That girl is amazing. Maddison Joyce (Edmund) was a really great cast. And Gerard Butler… okay, honestly, I can’t say anything objective here. If it were only for his looks, no problem, I can handle that. But then he goes and speaks with an Scottish accent during the movie and I don’t know why, but anytime a guy speaks Scottish, I’m absolutely and hopelessly lost. Then it doesn’t matter anymore, what he talks about and if I understand it (and when they really speak Scottish, I don’t), I just melt away.
Anyhoo… back on track now.
I really loved the opening credits, the artwork was fantastic.
Altogether, great movie, one, I think adults can enjoy as well, if they kept a childish mind. :)

Plus: the coolest flying lizards.

The Flying Lizard

Cassandra’s Dream was a big disappointment. And that although I’m wary of the new Woody Allen movies.
His older ones are great (like Sleeper, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, Everyone Says I Love You, Zelig, …), but at some point around Anything Else, it all went downhill. Match Point was so bad, I didn’t even watch Scoop anymore [My sister told me it wasn’t so bad. Not so bad is not good enough for a Woody Allen movie].  
With Cassandra’s Dream he managed to lure me in again. I mean, I adore Ewan McGregor (I think I mentioned my obsession with Scottish. Unfortunately, he didn’t speak it in that movie) and Colin Farrell can be really talented when he wants to. And both are very fine eye candy. And of course, Tom Wilkinson is a big plus.
And it’s all ruined. Ruined by a film which feels like it’s eight hours long (and eye candy or not, I can’t watch anybody that long… except possibly Christian Bale, if he puts on a good Scottish accent). Ruined by a story as tedious as it’s unrealistic and predictable. Ruined by it’s absolute pointlessness.
I can’t understand it. There you have a writer/director who should know what he’s doing, a really good cast [and really, they played very well, saving the film from getting zero points in my list] and a story that could be engaging (if it wasn’t so boring) and you get a really, really bad movie.
*sigh*

Lars and the Real Girl on the other hand was a perfect little movie.
Ryan Gosling and Emily Mortimer are great, the story is really sweet and it all unfolds in such a calm and unintrusive manner, it’s a real pleasure to watch. And it’s funny.
What more could you wish for in a movie? [Possibly for a Scottish guy, but they can’t be everywhere, now, can they?]

There will be another Craig Gillespie/Ryan Gosling movie – The Dallas Buyer’s Club, which sounds really good. Written by Chase Palmer, who also wrote and directs the upcoming Number 13, which sounds really good and features Ewan McGregor and Emily Mortimer. [I love it, when there are circles like that.] And Ben Kingsley as an extra.

Answering Questions Asked Through Google

My blog stats, I love them. But sometimes, I feel like I should answer (like when my blog was found with “is kris kristofferson a christian?”).

This time it’s “Christian Bale is married?”.

I can really feel the disappointment in this question, but honey, yes, I’m sorry, he IS married. Sibi Blazic is his wife, and a beautiful and nice one at that [not that I know her personally], and they have a daughter. If you need to know more, I suggest googling their names together or look here.

I hope that helped. Till the next time somebody asks me a question through google!

Miscellaneous Older Movies

I’ve seen Troy, finally. And I have to say that it was better than I thought it would be. Which doesn’t say a whole lot, because I expected it to be as bad as Alexander or Kingdom of Heaven.
I actually like Troy. All because of Eric Bana, Peter O’Toole and Sean Bean.

—–

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin is nice. It just has two huge flaws:

  1. What’s up with the accents? I hate it when they shoot films in English which are set somewhere else and to make up for it that it’s not the original language, everybody talks with an accent. It’s just not logical. It’s either prentending that English is the national language in Greece, than only the Italians and Germans should have accents when talking, or you shoot in the original language (in this case Greek, Italian and German) and use English as the language they communicate in when not talking to each other or just use subtitles.
  2. When having the choice between Christian Bale and Nicolas Cage, who in their right mind would choose Nicolas Cage?

Christian Bale Nicolas Cage

Seriously?

——

Audition is one freaky movie. I didn’t know much about it when I watched it and the slow development and the beauty of the first half of it, lulls you into safety.

It features one of the most beautiful shots I’ve ever seen.

Audition

And then it gets so seriously crazy…

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

When the bag moves for the first time, I almost had a heart attack.
One of the worst scenes ever in any film is the one, where Asami goes “Kiri, kiri, kiri”. Especially, because in German you say “Kille, kille, kille” when you tickle someone and it’s phonetically really close. I don’t think I can ever tickle my nephews (or anybody else for that matter) again without seeing needles everywhere.

[SPOILERS END]

——-

Snakes on a Plane was even worse than I thought it would be. Couldn’t they even get someone who could believably animate snakes? It is really, really sad to watch. Nevermind the story which is thin as it is, but they could have at least made the snakes look like real animals.

——-

Black Snake Moan features Samuel L. Jackson as well, but no snakes, which is good. From the trailer, you’d expect a completely different movie. But the film it actually is, is really good. Interesting, different, disturbing, very good characters and acting. Christina Ricci was amazing. And I wouldn’t have thought that Justin Timberlake could actually act.

The ending was a bit disappointing though. It came a little fast, compared to the pace of the rest of the movie and it was a little too optimistic for my taste.

Movie News

There’s a new, German version of The Wave by Morton Rhue/Todd Strasser (Die Welle) coming to the movies. A book probably every child in school in Europe and the US had to read. Let’s see if that improves the popularity.

Christian Bale has a lot of interesting projects coming up – Killing Pablo (together with Javier Bardem), Public Enemies (together with Marion Cotillard, Johnny Depp and Giovanni Ribisi) and – I’m not sure what to think of that one – Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.

Motherless Brooklyn will finally be out some time this year. Directed and written by as well as starring Edward Norton. Should be good.

Alice in Wonderland has a real revival – first there’s the Tim Burton version, then the Marilyn Manson version with Tilda Swinton and finally the Marcus Nispel version with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Will be interseting to compare them.

2008 is also a Chuck Palahniuk year – Invisible Monsters and Choke are being made into movies. Also, Bret Easton Ellis can rejoice: he gets The Informers, Lunar Park and The Frog King. And another one of my favourites – Irvine Welsh – gets The Meat Trade.

I bet I could find another hundred movies to come out this year I want to watch but I need to go to bed now.

I was there

Finally, finally I saw I’m Not There. And I loved it. It was as good as I expected, funny and with a love for details that was just a-fucking-mazing.

I don’t know a lot about Bob Dylan, so it’s hard for me to judge whether the film is an accurate portray of him. But I felt like I got to know someone – whether or not that someone is really Bob Dylan, I can’t say. But it doesn’t matter anyway (at least to me).

Todd Haynes really has a thing for very good musician bio-pics (and if you still haven’t seen Velvet Goldmine it’s high time!). And he knows who to give the responsibility for the casting (for Velvet Goldmine it was Susie Figgis and for I’m Not There Laura Rosenthal). Do I really need to reiterate the perfect cast? Probably not, but I’m going to anyway :). Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Marcus Carl Franklin [Watch out for that little guy, he’s absolutely wonderful!], Charlotte Gainsbourg, Richard Gere, Bruce Greenwood, Heath Ledger, Julianne Moore and Ben Whishaw. And Kris Kristofferson has a very nice narrating voice.

I adored the small jokes that were just standing around – the appearance of the Beatles, the zoo and the poet (Ben Whishaw) is called Arthur Rimbaud, for krissakes.

And I need to get the soundtrack.

There are only two things I can critisise about the film:
1. It was a bit confusing (which I don’t mind when I’m in the right mood – leaves room for discussion).
2. There wasn’t nearly enough Christian Bale and he became a Born-Again-Christian (but that’s only a real criticism if you are a HUGE fan of CB – like me – and an atheist with an aversion against anything even remotely like a dogmatic doctrine – like me)

Chick Flick #61545132

I’ve been kind of in a chick flick mood for these past weeks, therefore you’ll get the review of yet another one – August Rush. (For my defense, I managed to squeeze in Harsh Times as well, which was very good, very disturbing and had a very good cast – Christian Bale and Freddy Rodriguez aka the fighting midget from Planet Terror at their best.) 

August Rush was really, really very nice. The music was wonderful, especially the parts where Lyla’s (Keri Russell) cello playing overlapped with Louis’ (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) rock-ish music. I knew Meyers could sing ever since Velvet Goldmine – which is also a very good movie, so go and see it if you haven’t already – but this was a nice reminder. I don’t know if Keri Russell played the cello herself, so no comment on that. Freddie Highmore is cute as always, I can’t believe he’s going to be sixteen in Febuary…
Anyway, back to the topic. The plot was predictable and not really innovative, but who cares when it’s so nice to watch it anyway. The good guys except for the main characters were all black, a must-have in modern, PC films, which doesn’t bother me, just an observation. Robin Williams brought us one of his best performances ever (why, oh why did he do License to Wed? And why, oh why did I watch it?), and seemed to have fun doing it.
So, altogether it was mindless, it was good entertainment but as romantic films go there are better out there.