Reggie (Tom Hardy) and Ronnie (Tom Hardy) Kray are notorious, at least in the East End of London. Officially night club owners, their main business isn’t so legal which brings them under the scrutiny of police officer Nipper Read (Christopher Eccleston) who has yet to find something big that sticks. When Reggie has to go to prison for a while, Ronnie – who is not exactly mentally healthy – starts to get out of hand.
Legend tells a good story with a fantastic cast in a pretty clunky way. Tom Hardy is amazing though in both roles, so if all else fails, there is that.
Milo (Kit Harington) is known as The Celt, a gladiator and the last of his people. Due to his good fighting, he is brought from Britannia to Pompeii where he is supposed to put on a good show. But as Vesuvius rumbles ever louder, Milo gets drawn in the affairs of Senator Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) who has his eyes set on Cassia (Emily Browning). Cassia herself though is more impressed by Milo.
I don’t know what happened but it’s been a while that I brought alcohol to the cinema. In this case it was an absolute pity – because Pompeii would have been the perfect movie to get drunk to. While it doesn’t quite reach the craptacular dimensions of I, Frankenstein, they do play in the same league.
Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) is one of the few remaining humans who don’t have a “Soul” yet – a parasitic alien life form who took over earth and the human bodies. But then she’s captured and Wanderer is implanted into her. But somehow Melanie’s spirit survives this. Fueled by worry about her brother Jamie (Chandler Canterbury) and her boyfriend Jared (Max Irons) she starts to fight Wanderer who is trying to mine her memories to find the last humans for the Seeker (Diane Kruger).
Much as with Olympus Has Fallen, I went into this film with extremely low expectations and armed with alcohol (this time, we didn’t run out halfway through) and I swear that this is the only way to make this film even slightly bearable. But if you’re drunk enough, it does become extremely entertaining.
After the death of her mother, Baby Doll (Emily Browning) is left alone with her abusive stepfather (Gerard Plunkett) and her little sister. In an attempt to save her little sister from him, Baby Doll accidentally shoots her which is the ideal possibility for him to have her admitted to a mental hospital. There, the stepfather bribes an orderly (Oscar Isaacs) into getting Baby Doll lobotomised. The only defense Baby Doll has left is retreating into a fantasy world (and from there in yet another fantasy world) where she hatches a plan to escape.
I have pushed writing this review back and back again because I’m not in a ranting mood but this film deserves little else. Apart from the screwed up empowerment message this movie sends, it’s just not a very good film. Not even the special effects held up the end of their bargain. And that’s just sad. At least the soundtrack was cool.