After Earth (2013)

After Earth
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writer: Gary Whitta, M. Night Shyamalan
Cast: Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Sophie Okonedo, Zoë Kravitz

A long time ago, humanity has left Earth and had to look for a different planet to live on. Unfortunately on their way to a safe space, they encountered the Ursas, vicious killing machines that can only see fear. And so a new special unit of soldiers was developed who were trained not to feel fear at all. Kitai (Jaden Smith) has been working hard to become one of them, just like his father Cypher (Will Smith), who is very renowned. But Kitai hasn’t managed yet to reign in his fear. But then circumstances have Kitai and Cypher stranded on the original Earth with an Ursa on the loose and since Cypher is injured, it rests with Kitai to seek help.

I was prepared for this movie to suck. A lot. I’ve only read bad reviews and I’m not a fan of Shyamalan anyways. But I do like Will Smith, so I decided to see it anyway. I packed alcohol and braced myself. And I was actually quite surprised by how not sucky the film turned out to be. Was it awesome? Well, no. But if you expect the worse, it does kinda suprise you in a positive way. I only took a sip of my vodka bottle.


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The Karate Kid (2010)

The Karate Kid is a remake of the 1984 movie that made a generation (or three) insanely happy for no real reason. It was directed by Harald Zwart and stars Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson and Wenwen Han.

Dre (Jaden Smith) moves with his mother (Taraji P. Henson) from the US to China. He’s unhappy about the move, but sees some light at the end of the tunnel when he meets Meiying (Wenwen Han), a really cute girl. Unfortunately, the boys from the evil Kung Fu club don’t take too well to strangers hitting on Chinese girls and beat Dre up. Repeatedly. That is, until the handyman Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) steps in and takes it upon himself to train Dre in Kung Fu.

The movie is not the catastrophe it set out to be. Since it’s not terribly good, either, that’s probably the highest praise you’re going to get for it. It’s a little too long, it could have done with a little more originality, but in the end? It’s pretty okay.

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The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

I’ll keep this review very short: The Day the Earth Stood Still is not only crap, it’s also boring.


Apart from a tired and old storyline (I can’t bring myself to say it’s a plot twist), the acting is mostly wooden. And I so didn’t care about any of it. Blow up the eart already. At least, then I don’t have to watch this crap.

3 redeeming features, which make it a 1 (of 10) and not a 0:

Summarising: Don’t watch, unless you have trouble falling asleep. And even then, I could recommend better movies.

Reading Material

Superheroes have flaws. At least some do. See here.


The History of True Romance (The Tarantino/Scott film, do not expect some nice little story about birds and bees).


The script of Jumper, re-edited. (“Hayden Christensen finally succeeds in his lifelong goal to pout in every country.”)


200 three-panel comics by nedroid.


Not much to read but there’s talks about a Karate Kid remake, directed by Will Smith and starring his son, Jaden Smith, with either Stephen Chow (by the way, new movie coming: CJ7 and in 2010 there will be a second part of Kung Fu Hustle. Yay!) or Jackie Chan as Mr. Miyagi. I don’t know if I should be delighted or terrified.