Again, movie time.
Yesterday’s cinematic experience: The Darjeeling Limited
It was perfect. Absolutely wonderful in it’s absurd weirdness. The first movie since Moulin Rouge! that left me wanting to see it again right away. (There are a lot of films I like to see over and over again but very few actually make me seriously consider just staying in the cinema to watch it again.)
K., who was with me, didn’t like it that much. She thought it over the top, which I can understand. It’s definitely more neurotic than The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou although not as strange because it doesn’t have any computer animated wildlife. :)
Anyway, a 9 thumbs up from my part.
When I came home, I decided, I wanted to plug into that wonderful isn’t-the-world-a-strange-and-amazing-and-beautiful-place-feeling by watching a rather mindless, romantic movie and chose Mozart and the Whale. It’s about two Asperger autists who fall in love and the problems they encounter during the building of their relationship.
Well. On the one hand it is a rather mindless, romantic movie with Josh Hartnett actually acting, and even not bad.
On the other hand, I have spent at least 2 hours since watching it researching if the portrayal of the Asperger syndrome in this movie was correct.
As you might know, I’m not an expert in this field. Through my parents’ work I’ve had my share of dealings with socially and mentally handicapped children, but I don’t know one autistic person and my picture of “them” is mostly shaped by movies like Rain Man. But I sat in this film, thinking “something isn’t right”. And it was not about the main characters behaving weirdly but somehow the wrong kind of weird behaviour. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, I read the comments on the imdb which are about 50:50 (“I’m an aspie and that’s not the way it is” and “I’m an aspie and I cried all the time because I saw myself in the movie”). I watched some videos on youtube.com from a guy named aspie 182 who has Asperger’s and talks about the world the way he sees it. I read the wikipedia entry on Asperger’s and thought, “it was like that in the movie”.
There’s nothing I have access to on a quick level that contradicts what has been shown in the film but something just didn’t fit. I wish, I could put my finger on it.
kalafudra's Stuff 
“somehow the wrong kind of weird behaviour.”
This is such an apt description of AS. Warning: I’m going to repeat it a lot, because it’s so fitting I don’t care to paraphrase.
The “wrong kind of weird behaviour” is the one aspect of the social-skills disability that I have no idea how to improve. I’ve worked incredibly hard at learning to adapt and conform to neurotypical expectations, and I’ve had great success. I smell nice, I look good, I have gracious manners, many people even feel they can open up to me, that I understand them as few do. I’ve never shied away from working on areas where improvement was clearly needed. Naturally, I don’t get credit for any of this. But I’m burnt out.
What chance to I have in the face of NT insistence that they’re qualified to assess what is the “right kind” of weird behavior and what kind of “weird behavior” gives them the right to kick me to the curb without warning? I suspect this is where education of neurotypicals would help more than any effort of mine. It’s a battle I can’t win. And differences, this “weirdness,” isn’t malignant. It’s just =off.=
Even if I explain (to a therapist or social agency) up-front that things about me ARE going to feel “off,” they first reassure me there’ll be no problem, and invariably when misunderstandings arise, I not only get treatments terminated on my answering machine, but with a level of disgust I’d hope would be reserved for recreational serial killers. It’s really hard to see, for example, Borderline clients pulling all kinds of manipulative drama and still being treated with far more compassion than I am. (I realise these clients are in pain, but a few have shared ‘tips’ on getting attention. I’m not able to employ these little tricks.)
Back to the film, though. Aside from the story about the girl having misunderstood the phrase “break a record,” there was little in the film that looked like the way I experience life. But “neurotypicals” vary enormously as well. I have huge problems with executive function, and I’ve developed very strong emotion-management skills. Another ASer will manage their EF challenges using OCD-looking routines, but have obvious meltdowns in public. I might “pass” somewhat longer, but my “wrong kind of weird behavior” comes across as that much more disturbing. And at the end of the day, I’m far less functional than are many ASers who don’t bother to bathe and instead put that energy into advocating for themselves. But we’re both going to produce a lot of “the wrong kind of weird behavior.”
Wow.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have AS. What I could gather from the movie, didn’t help me to start comprehending.
Your commment, on the other hand, answers a few questions, raising some more. But I feel like I got a little closer to understanding.
Honestly, I don’t know, what else I could say that wouldn’t sound strange. I just would like you to know that I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for that.