Need I say more?

SCOTUS has declined to review Obama’s eligibility to serve as president based on the assertions of some totally smart dude who claims Obama was not an American citizen at birth.

What an enormous relief. If SCOTUS had taken up the appeal and attended to it with their usual tenacious integrity, they surely would have found out that Obama was really born on Planet Zorkwazzle, uncovered his plan to take over America with his army of radical gay feminist black-power babies, and enslaved all white people in the service of Allah. (Well, Zorkwazzle’s a heavily Muslim planet, what can I tell you?) So, if you’re like me, and you want Obama to be president because you’re tired of working and just want to sit around collecting government checks for doing nothing like the conservatives keep promising he’ll do, breathe a sigh of relief. We really dodged a bullet there.