The Human Centipede is a horror movie by Tom Six and stars Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie and Akihiro Kitamura.

Plot:
Dr. Heiter (Tom Six), a specialist in the separation of Siamese twins, has grown obsessed by the idea of putting people together, instead of separating them. So, when he gets the opportunity, he kidnaps two American tourists – Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) – and a Japanese one, Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura) and creates a human centipede by sewing them together mouth-to-anus.

The Human Centipede is not really a good movie, which should make it the perfect choice for a cult classic. Unfortunately, it’s too serious and not really bad enough to really cross that line. What remains is disgusting (but not scary) and quite frankly boring after about 30 minutes.

I’ve heard that The Human Centipede was really funny and I don’t see where that should have been the case. Maybe it’s funny for the same people who laugh about Due Date, because somehow seeing people abused and demeaned triggers their laugh reflex. It doesn’t for me. It just makes me sad and a disgusted.*

I thought that it would be at least interesting, but I was wrong on that count, too. While the premise is good, Six just lets it ebb away. He does nothing with the concept and on its own, it’s not strong enough to support an entire film. So, after about 30 minutes (okay, maybe 45) in you’re waiting for something else to happen, for some kind of new development – and it never really comes.

The best part of the film is definitely Dieter Laser who – constantly teetering on the edge to ridicule but never quite crossing over – portrays the utter stereotype of the evil scientist. Heiter’s basically the original form and all other mad scientists are the shadows on the cave walls. Of course he’s German – how could you not make a Nazi reference out of this?

Unfortuntely, not even he manages to give this movie any point – and that’s ultimately what it dies of. In Srpski Film, at least they made an analogy out of it, albeit a crude one. In The Human Centipede, nobody ever seems to ask themselves why they are making the movie in the first place.

Oh well. I guess my expectations were a little too high for this film.

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*I don’t want to come across as preachy or say “if you think this funny, you’re a bad human being.”** I just really don’t think it’s funny. I never liked Tom and Jerry either, for exactly the same reason. Even as a child, I always pitied Tom, found Jerry obnoxious and just didn’t get the point.
**I honestly don’t think that. If you would laugh about someone being humiliated in real life, then we’d have a serious talk, you and I. But on screen? In books? Laugh at whatever the hell you want.