83rd Academy Awards aka the Oscars, babies!

Continuing my annual (by now) tradition, I’ll be liveblogging (this year from deadra’s apartment), so you might want to check back and refresh this page when the ceremony starts. [In the meantime, I’m in the cinema, cramming in one last movie before the ceremony (Winter’s Bone), so I can be even nerdier.]

Movies I’ve seen are red. [Why-oh-why-oh-why-oh Ohio didn’t they release The Fighter here before the ceremony?]

Red Carpet

So, due to technical difficulties we got a little late to the party, but here’s Kevin Spacey. And I want to kick the German interviewer already: “You’re great at doing impressions!” Seriously? He’s an actor. That’s kind of his job.

Okay, he just made a LotR reference. He might be slightly redeemed for that.

The interviewer guy just referred to Mark Ruffalo as the Sperminator. Lost all points for that.

Helen Mirren gets more beautiful every year. Asked about her presenting an award with Russel Brand and what the best thing about him was, “his legs. He got the best legs in the business.”

Mark Ruffalo looks high. And he talks like he’s high, too.

Nicole Kidman wears a nightmare. And she should really stop wearing dresses the color of her skin.

We get to see Javier Bardem’s back. Maybe he’ll even turn around at some point. Yay! He did! Interviewer asks him what he would choose if Spain was playing the World Cup final on Oscar Night: Be at the Oscars, but with something in his ear.

Deadra’s supplying me with the best of Twitter (“Jesus Bale is dead. Long live Hobo Bale!”). We really are weird. Watching the Oscars together, each with a laptop in front of her.

Sandra Bullock wears color! Yay! And the dress is even nice. :) She answers a very stupid question with, “I know I’m not helping you with your question, but I can’t.”

The interviewer thinks that the most important question to ask Helena Bonham Carter is how she put on her dress. More alcohol.

Helena Bonham Carter looks brilliant. Her dress is awesome. And says that Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth had a complete Bromance on set and she felt left out. :) Helena Bonham Carter just called the Queen Mum sweet, fluffy and a marshmallow.

Robert Downey Jr, unfortunately only from a distance.

Interviewer has to comment on the fact that Matthe McConaughey wears a shirt. *lesigh*

Colin Firth looks great. And is charming even when asked if he’s invited to Prince William’s wedding.

Christian Bale is not as Hobo as twitter wants to make you believe. He has a beard, but that’s all. Anyway, he’s still hot.

German red carpet is over (thank goodness), we’re tuning into American red carpet now.

Jennifer Hudson’s dress is gorgeous. Well, she’s gorgeous in general.

Natalie Portman’s dress color is amazing. “To get to work with Darren [Aronofsky, ed.] is the bee’s knees.” I agree. I want it, too.

James Franco gets interviewed about hosting the Oscars. He looks so… clean. Which might have to do with me just having seen 127 Hours two days ago.

Justin Timberlake casually displays his ass. Which is very much to his advantage.

Sandra Bullock again. “Has motherhood changed your approach to acting at all?” So it’s not only the German interviewer who asks inane questions.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban get asked who gets to choose the music in the car. *headdesk*

Gwyneth Paltrow shouldn’t wear skin tones, either. Gwyneth Paltrow would like sing a duet with Jay-Z.

Did Christian Bale just call the interviewer “mate”? I love him. And I love it when he talks with his British accent.

Hugh Jackman looks great.

Halle Berry also wears skin tone. Ladies, what’s wrong with you this year? The only one who’s pulled it off so far seems to be Hailee Steinfeld.

Tom Hanks finishes the Red Carpet part of the evening.

The Show

James Franco and Anne Hathaway in Spoof!Inception, invading Alec Baldwin’s head, The Social Network, The Fighter, True Girt (on a stretch donkey). Narrated by Morgan Freeman. Now in the King’s Speech, Black Swan (with the Dance of the Brown Duck) and Back to the Future! YAY!

“Anne, you look so young and hip.”
“Thank you, James, you look very appealing to a younger demogrpahic as well. (…) It used to be, you get naked, you get nominated. Not anymore. Not. Anymore.”

Tom Hanks presents (in a very roundabout way):

Best Achievement in Art Direction

  • Alice in Wonderland: Robert Stromberg, Karen O’Hara
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1: Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan
  • Inception: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat
  • The King’s Speech: Eve Stewart, Judy Farr
  • True Grit: Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh

My tip: The King’s Speech.
My wish: Inception or The King’s Speech.

The winner: Alice in Wonderland. WHAT? I mean, it certainly was the best thing about the movie. But seriously?
How adorable, they made a little Mad Hatter hat for the Oscar statue.

And on to

Best Achievement in Cinematography

  • Black Swan: Matthew Libatique
  • Inception: Wally Pfister
  • The King’s Speech: Danny Cohen
  • The Social Network: Jeff Cronenweth
  • True Grit: Roger Deakins

My tip: The King’s Speech.
My wish: either Black Swan or Inception. Did not like The King’s Speech cinematography.

The winner: Inception! YAY!
Wally Pfister calls Christopher Nolan his master. Uhm…

Kirk Douglas is still alive? Oh wow. He presents

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Amy Adams for The Fighter
  • Helena Bonham Carter for The King’s Speech
  • Melissa Leo for The Fighter
  • Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit
  • Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

My tip: Jacki Weaver.
My wish: Lesley Manville for Another Year. I choose to ignore that she wasn’t nominated. Also, Hailee Steinfeld’s role was a leading one, if ever there was one.

[Kirk Douglas: “Hugh Jackman is laughing. I don’t know why all Australians think I’m funny. Colin Firth is not laughing. He’s British.” (Colin Firth tries hard to suppress laughter.)]

The winner: Melissa Leo. Interesting.
She’s adorable. And she just said “fucking”. Oops.  She talks too long, though. At least Kirk Douglas did it with a bit more charm.

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. [Justin Timberlake announces that he’s Banksy.] They present

Best Short Film, Animated

  • Day & Night: Teddy Newton
  • The Gruffalo: Jakob Schuh, Max Lang
  • Let’s Pollute: Geefwee Boedoe
  • The Lost Thing: Shaun Tan, Andrew Ruhemann
  • Madagascar, carnet de voyage: Bastien Dubois

My tip: The Lost Thing. [Because it should.]
My wish: The Lost Thing.

The winner: THE LOST THING!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Deadra: “Oh my God, Shaun Tan is tiny. TINY!”

“This is dedicated to all lost things anywhere.” Awww.

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

  • How to Train Your Dragon: Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders
  • L’illusionniste: Sylvain Chomet
  • Toy Story 3: Lee Unkrich

My tip: Toy Story 3.
My wish: Honestly don’t have a preference.

The winner: Toy Story 3. Not surprisingly. But very deserving.

Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem present

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

  • 127 Hours: Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy
  • The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin
  • Toy Story 3: Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
  • True Grit: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
  • Winter’s Bone: Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini

My tip: The Social Network
My wish: The Social Network. The script was very good.

The winner: The Social Network. To no one’s surprise. :)

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

  • Another Year: Mike Leigh
  • The Fighter: Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Keith Dorrington
  • Inception: Christopher Nolan
  • The Kids Are All Right: Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg
  • The King’s Speech: David Seidler

My tip: The King’s Speech
My wish: for all the snubbery, Inception should get this one. Though Another Year and The King’s Speech totally deserve it, too.

The winner: The King’s Speech. Very well done.
“My father always said to me I would be a late bloomer. I think I’m the oldest person to win this particular award. I hope this record is broken quickly and often.”

Anne Hathaway, now in a smoking, says she planned a duet with somebody who bailed on her at the last minute. A “huge jackass” from Australia. Who shall remain nameless.

James Franco, now in a (ill-fitting) dress, “I just got a text message from Charlie Sheen.”

Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren talks French and Russell Brand “translates”: “Yo! my performance as queen was much more realistic than Colin Firth’s performance as a king.” They present:

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

  • Biutiful: Alejandro González Iñárritu (Mexico)
  • Kynodontas: Giorgos Lanthimos (Greece)
  • Hævnen: Susanne Bier (Denmark)
  • Incendies: Denis Villeneuve (Canada)
  • Hors-la-loi: Rachid Bouchareb (Algeria)

My tip: Biutiful.
My wish: Biutiful was absolutely brilliant.

The winner: Hævnen. Huh. I was convinced that Biutiful was practically set in stone.

Reese Whitherspoon (nice dress) presents

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Christian Bale for The Fighter
  • John Hawkes for Winter’s Bone
  • Jeremy Renner for The Town
  • Mark Ruffalo for The Kids Are All Right
  • Geoffrey Rush for The King’s Speech

My tip: Geoffrey Rush.
My wish: Geoffrey Rush.

The winner: Christian Bale. Woah. Woaaaaaaah. Did not expect that.
Did he just make a reference to his own freak-out? Nice.

Yadda yadda about ABC and Oscar cooperation.

Hugh Jackman, the Wolver to Anne Hathaway’s Rine, and Nicole Kidman present a tribute to movie scores. And then

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

  • 127 Hours: A.R. Rahman
  • How to Train Your Dragon: John Powell
  • Inception: Hans Zimmer
  • The King’s Speech: Alexandre Desplat
  • The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

My tip: How to Train Your Dragon
My wish: Ignoring that Daft Punk wasn’t nominated, I’m rooting for them. Otherwise How to Train Your Dragon or Inception.

The winner: The Social Network. Which would have probably been my last choice. Meh.

James Franco back in a tux. “I’m six degrees of Kevin Bacon away of our two next presenters. Look it up. On the internet.”

Matthew McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson present

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

  • Inception: Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick
  • The King’s Speech: Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen, John Midgley
  • Salt: Jeffrey J. Haboush, William Sarokin, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell
  • The Social Network: Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Mark Weingarten
  • True Grit: Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff, Peter F. Kurland

My tip: True Grit.
My wish: I’m applying pure guesswork here – I know sound even less than editing.

The winner: Inception. Wow, it already got twice the amount of Oscars I thought this film’d get.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

  • Inception: Richard King
  • Toy Story 3: Tom Myers, Michael Silvers
  • TRON: Legacy: Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Addison Teague
  • True Grit: Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey
  • Unstoppable: Mark P. Stoeckinger

My tip: Inception.
My wish: Not Unstoppable (for the same reason as The Wolfman).

The winner: Inception! Which makes it the third Oscar this film got. Wow!

Marisa Tomei presents the Scientific and Technical Awards that have been awarded earlier.

Cate Blanchett not only wears a Galadriel dress but also gets LotR music and presents

Best Achievement in Makeup

  • Barney’s Version: Adrien Morot
  • The Way Back: Edouard F. Henriques, Greg Funk, Yolanda Toussieng
  • The Wolfman: Rick Baker, Dave Elsey

My tip: Barney’s Version.
My wish: Can I just root for not The Wolfman? That movie shouldn’t even be in close vicinity of an Oscar.

The winner: The Wolfman. Ouch. Ouchouchouchouchouch. Not that the makeup was bad, but The fucking Wolfman just got an Oscar.

Best Achievement in Costume Design

  • Alice in Wonderland: Colleen Atwood
  • Io sono l’amore: Antonella Cannarozzi
  • The King’s Speech: Jenny Beavan
  • The Tempest: Sandy Powell
  • True Grit: Mary Zophres

My tip: Io sono l’amore
My wish: Every costume I’ve seen from The Tempest looked awesome, so I’m rooting for that.

The winner: Alice in Wonderland. Which I can’t accept very well, I have to admit.
She has a timed speech. From which you can recognise the pro at winning Oscars.

A movie song featurette that is really nice. Oh, hello, Obama.

Kevin Spacey sings Fred Astaire and presents Randy Newman and Randy Newman’s Toy Story 3 song. He looks like Elton John.
Alan Menken, Mandy Moore (in a very nice dress) and Zachary Levi sing the Tangled song.

Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal (who looks wonderful) present

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

  • Killing in the Name: Jed Rothstein
  • Poster Girl: Sara Nesson, Mitchell Block
  • Strangers No More: Karen Goodman, Kirk Simon
  • Sun Come Up: Jennifer Redfearn, Tim Metzger
  • The Warriors of Qiugang: Ruby Yang, Thomas Lennon

My tip: Strangers No More.
My wish: Honestly, I didn’t even read the descriptions. I’m choosing by title.

The winner: Strangers No More. Nailed it.

Best Short Film, Live Action

  • The Confession: Tanel Toom
  • The Crush: Michael Creagh
  • God of Love: Luke Matheny
  • Na Wewe: Ivan Goldschmidt
  • Wish 143: Ian Barnes, Samantha Waite

My tup: Na Wewe.
My wish: Honestly, I didn’t even read the descriptions. I’m choosing by title.

The winner: God of Love.

Did they seriously autotune Harry Potter? And Toy Story 3. And The Social Network. And Twilight. “He Doesn’t Own A Shirt” *rofl*

Oprah Winfrey presents

Best Documentary, Features

  • Exit Through the Gift Shop: Banksy, Jaimie D’Cruz
  • GasLand: Josh Fox, Trish Adlesic
  • Inside Job: Charles Ferguson, Audrey Marrs
  • Restrepo: Tim Hetherington, Sebastian Junger
  • Waste Land: Lucy Walker, Angus Aynsley

My tip: Exit Through the Gift Shop.
My wish: Exit Through the Gift Shop was all kinds of awesome.

The winner: Inside Job. *lesigh*

Billy Crystal announces that the Oscars are running a little long. “So here are the nominees for Best Picture.” Unfortunately, they don’t follow their own advice but show a Bob Hope tribute.

Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law. And wombs all around explode. They mock each other wonderfully and present

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

  • Alice in Wonderland: Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas, Sean Phillips
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1: Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz, Nicolas Aithadi
  • Hereafter: Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojansky, Joe Farrell
  • Inception: Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin
  • Iron Man 2: Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright, Daniel Sudick

My tip: this will be the one Oscar Inception gets.
My wish: Inception.

The winner: Inception. Nailed it. Also go, Inception!

Best Achievement in Editing

  • 127 Hours: Jon Harris
  • Black Swan: Andrew Weisblum
  • The Fighter: Pamela Martin
  • The King’s Speech: Tariq Anwar
  • The Social Network: Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall

My tip: Black Swan.
My wish: I don’t really know. Editing is not really my field of expertise.

The winner: The Social Network.

I don’t know how many dresses Anne Hathaway wore tonight.

Jennifer Hudson presents A.R. Rahman and Florence (from & the Machine) who sing If I Rise. This song is just boring. The perfomance even more so.
Now Gwyneth Paltrow sings Coming Home. Yeah… no. Also no to that dress.
If either of these two songs win, I know that people have no taste whatsoever.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

  • 127 Hours: A.R. Rahman, Dido (“If I Rise”)
  • Country Strong: Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges (“Coming Home”)
  • Tangled: Alan Menken, Glenn Slater (“I See the Light”)
  • Toy Story 3: Randy Newman (“We Belong Together”)

My tip: Coming Home [because I don’t know it and that’s usually what happens]
My wish: Loved I See the Light.

The winner: Randy Newman. The second best song in that category.
Randy Newman falls completely into the adorable winner category.

Celine Dion sings Charlie Chaplin’s Smile for the In Memoriam segment. Oh boy. Don’t ever do that to us again, Oscar people. Ever.

Halle Berry presents a tribute to Lena Horne.

Anne Hathaway is wearing a plastic dress now. Hillary Swank is “wearing the White Swan” [(c) deadra] and introduces Kathryn Bigelow.

Best Achievement in Directing

  • Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
  • Ethan Coen, Joel Coen for True Grit
  • David Fincher for The Social Network
  • Tom Hooper for The King’s Speech
  • David O. Russell for The Fighter

My tip: David Fincher.
My wish: Darren Aronofsky so deserves that one. And Christopher Nolan, too. But I guess I’ll be fine so long as it’s not Tom Hooper who gets it.

The winner: Tom Hooper. Dammit. His direction wasn’t that good. It was the weakest part of that film and and and it’s just so unfair.
*rofl* “The triangle of man-love between Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and me…”

Annette Bening looks great, wears an ugly dress and presents  Francis Ford Coppola, Eli Wallach and Kevin Brownlow with the Governor’s Award.

Jeff Bridges presents

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

  • Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right
  • Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole
  • Jennifer Lawrence for Winter’s Bone
  • Natalie Portman for Black Swan
  • Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine

My tip: Natalie Portman
My wish: Either Natalie Portman or Michelle Williams would be great.

The winner: Natalie Portman. Whoddathunk.
“I wish that the prize tonight was to get to work with my co-nominees.”

Sandra Bullock presents

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

  • Javier Bardem for Biutiful
  • Jeff Bridges for True Grit
  • Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network
  • Colin Firth for The King’s Speech
  • James Franco for 127 Hours

My tip: Colin Firth
My wish: Totally fine with Colin Firth, though Javier Bardem wouldn’t be a bad choice either.

The winner: Colin Firth.
“I have a feeling my career just peaked.” He fears he will start to dance – I wouldn’t mind seeing that.

Steven Spielberg presents

Best Motion Picture of the Year

  • 127 Hours: Christian Colson, Danny Boyle, John Smithson
  • Black Swan: Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver, Scott Franklin
  • The Fighter: David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman, Mark Wahlberg
  • Inception: Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas
  • The Kids Are All Right: Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Celine Rattray
  • The King’s Speech: Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin
  • The Social Network: Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Ceán Chaffin
  • Toy Story 3: Darla K. Anderson
  • True Grit: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Scott Rudin
  • Winter’s Bone: Anne Rosellini, Alix Madigan

My tip: This will go to the Social Network.
My wish: It’s a difficult year. I definitely wouldn’t want it to be The Kids Are All Right – the film just wasn’t that good. Black Swan or Inception would be my favorites.

The winner: The King’s Speech. Wouldn’t have thought that – I was sure that The Social Network gets it.

And we finish the evening with a performance by PS22 – a school choir from New York – singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. [I’d advise everyone to keep their insulin handy.]

And we’re done for this year. I gotta drive home now – good night morning.

2 thoughts on “83rd Academy Awards aka the Oscars, babies!

  1. mann, das war vielleicht eine fade angelegenheit :) hat so vielversprechend begonnen (mein fav: hello mr. baldwin! – please, call me mr. baldwin) und dann.. katastrophal. anne und ihr künstliches lachen fand ich weird, james hatte ein steifes gnack und der peter-alexander-charlies-tante-witz: fuuuurchtbar! kirk douglas fand ich, bei aller sympathie, unglaublich gruselig. standig ovations hat er auch nicht bekommen, dafür billy crystal. und celine dion hat erfolgreich verhindert, dass man beim in memoriam so garkeine stimmung aufkommen wollte, obwohl sally menke und lieslie fucking nielsen doch mindestens zwischenapplaus verdient hätten. gott. und dieser kinderchor am schluss! somewhere over the rainbow! ich war fassungslos. (übrigens, bei best music muss ich heftig widersprechen: der soundtrack von trent reznor war genial. nichts hätte besser zu SN gepasst, und der award war einer der wenigen lichtblicke.)
    ich will hugh jackman zurück haben, oder ricky gervais soll das ganze übernehmen- sonst seh ich schwarz für die zukunft dieser veranstaltung.

    • Ja, besonders toll war’s nicht. Die Filmgeschichte am Anfang war aber super, nicht nur wegen Mr Baldwin. Auch Morgan Freeman war genial.

      Anne Hathaway fand ich an sich nicht schlecht, aber sie musste halt die (wahrscheinlich durch Gras ausgelöste) Trägheit von James Franco ein bisschen wett machen und das kam dann komisch und übertrieben rüber. Und dass sie James Franco nicht in ein schönes, gut sitzendes Kleid stecken konnte ist eine verpasste Gelegenheit sondergleichen.

      Kirk Douglas war extrem witzig, aber ein bisschen schwer zu verstehen. Standing Ovations hätt er aber auf jeden Fall bekommen sollen.

      Celin Dion war grauenhaft, da hast du absolut recht. Der Kinderchor ist an sich gut, war aber ziemlich fehl am Platz.

      Ich glaub, die Moderation allein kann die Veranstaltung nicht mehr wirklich retten. Die gehört großräumig überarbeitet. (Und, verdammtnochmal, auf Samstag gelegt.)

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