The Phoenician Scheme
Director: Wes Anderson
Writer: Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola
Cast: Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Steve Park, Willem Dafoe, F. Murray Abraham, Rupert Friend, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Bill Murray, Karl Markovics, Johannes Krisch, Hope Davis, Benedict Cumberbatch
Seen on: 13.6.2025

Plot:
Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio Del Toro) is a rich business man. His wealth and his business have made him a target, and after he survives his sixth plane crash, he decides that he needs to appoint an heir to secure his estate. He chooses his only daughter Liesl (Mia Threapleton) over his nine sons. Liesl, a nun who has been living in a convent, now needs a quick introduction into Zsa-zsa’s world as he tries to finalize the one deal that has managed to escape him so far. Between old partners, extended family and assassins, they have their work cut out for themselves.

After having rather enjoyed Asteroid City, I thought that Wes Anderson and me have gotten back into our groove together. The Phoenician Scheme quickly disabused me of that notion. It’s an exhausting and boring tour de style.

To say that everything in The Phoenician Scheme is stylized is to state the obvious about a Wes Anderson film. Of course, it is stylized. Of course, the shots are predominately symmetrical. Of course the colors are both popping and almost monochromatic. Of course, the performances are also stylized.

But it is the latter that becomes really an issue here. As everybody talks at machine gun speeds and without much inflection, getting any kind of emotional attachment to any of the characters becomes a little difficult. Especially since the film just throws so many damn characters at us. But even with the more constant characters, the film usually chooses style over substance, jokes over any kind of depth, and after a very short while, it just becomes grating.

I started to wonder why I should care about the fate of a rich man’s wealth, and whether he makes it into heaven? And quite frankly, the religious interludes did not sit well with me. Apart from the whiteness and the Christianity, they quickly grew as tiresome as the rest of the film. I did actually fall asleep for a little while, although I wasn’t tired when I started watching the film (and my cinema evenings have grown rare and precious, I try to use them to the fullest).

The film has many jokes, some of which are rather funny. It doesn’t help with its pretentiousness, though. In fact, it seems to underscore it. The film is very pretty. It has an excellent cast. It even tries to give the entire story some depth. Unfortunately, though, nothing works. If I hadn’t fallen asleep, I might have walked out.

Summarizing: I hated it.