F
Director: Johannes Roberts
Writer: Johannes Roberts
Cast: David Schofield, Eliza Bennett, Ruth Gemmell, Finlay Robertson, Roxanne McKee, Juliet Aubrey
Seen on: 14.12.2025

Plot:
Robert Anderson (David Schofield) is a teacher in a high school. After an incident with a student who hit him, Robert is badly shook and needs a break. When he returns to school, he only ever sees danger lurking and his own daughter Kate (Eliza Bennett) who is a student at his school, seems just as annoyed by him as everybody else. But then Robert’s worst fears come to pass when the school is actually attacked by a gang. Robert’s sole focus then becomes saving Kate’s life.

There was a time a few years ago – probably around the time when this movie came out, actually – when there was a panic about young people in hoodies, akin to the Satanic Panic of the 80s. F is the movie version of that – a reactionary vision that mistakes thinking the worst for being realistic and is pretty boring while it’s at it.

A few years ago, a friend lent me the DVD, warning me that it is not particularly good but before she throws it out, I might as well watch it if I want. And then it lay around in my flat for years and I finally wanted to get rid of it, and I was looking for something to watch while baking cookies (that is, something that doesn’t need too much of my attention), and so I gave it a go. And I was glad that I never considered giving the film my full attention, because I would have probably gotten very angry. With my fingers in dough, I only managed increasingly exasperated eye-rolls.

It starts with the fact that the old white guy who tries to warn everybody is shown to be right with all of his paranoia. While I do believe that especially an old white man would be shaken to his core after experiencing violence from somebody he deems subordinate, that is no basis for an accurate threat assessment. Instead the movie is the story of the worst things a conservative imagines: a gang of violent monsters threatening their daughters, and nobody there to help.

Admittedly, one thing is (somewhat) lacking here, and that is white (racial) anxiety. Although it is only missing because somehow in this movie set in London, there is not a single BIPoC on screen ever. If there had been, you bet your ass that they would have been the attackers here.

I will give the film credit for one thing, and one thing only: it has a pretty brave ending, one where Robert’s heroics are limited to getting his daughter out and running away, while leaving everything else open. It is also the only possible ending for a story that doesn’t even attempt to imagine anything better than what is, but only sees how things might get worse, and only in the most uncreative ways. And it doesn’t even give us this nightmare with decent gore or good pacing, so you’re really left with nothing much.

Summarizing: don’t waste your time.