Fantastic Four (2015)

Fantastic Four
Director: Josh Trank
Writer: Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg, Josh Trank
Based on: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby‘s comics
Cast: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson
Seen on: 17.8.2015
[Here’s my review of the 2005 Fantastic Four film. Or rather, my drunken tweet-along of said film. And its sequel.]

Plot:
Reed (Miles Teller) has been working on a teleporting device ever since he was a kid. With the help of his friend Ben (Jamie Bell), he has even some success to show for it. But nobody takes his attempts seriously – until Dr. Storm (Reg E. Cathey) comes to his science fair to recruit Reed for his secret interplanetary travel project. Also working on that project: Storm’s daughter Sue (Kate Mara), his son Johnny (Michael B. Jordan) who otherwise would only engage in high risk behavior, and finally the volatile but brilliant Victor (Toby Kebbell). Within a short amount of time, the four of them manage to establish a connection to a planet and in a clandestine nightly operation, the guys invite Ben along and the four of them give it a go. But from that trip, Victor doesn’t return at all, and Reed, Ben, Johnny and even Sue who got them back, end up changed beyond belief.

I had heard bad things about Fantastic Four before seeing it, as did probably everybody else on the planet. So my expectations were low, but I decided to give it a chance anyway, thinking that maybe there was some mob mentality going on and maybe the film isn’t quite as bad as hyped. But I should have believed all those negative reviews. And I should have brought alcohol. Because Fantastic Four is an astoundingly bad film.

Fantastic-Four[SPOILERS]

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4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Director: Tim Story
Writer: Mark FrostDon Payne
Based on: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby‘s comics
Sequel to: Fantastic Four
Cast: Ioan GruffuddJessica AlbaChris EvansMichael ChiklisJulian McMahon, Kerry WashingtonAndre BraugherLaurence Fishburne, Doug Jones, Stan Lee

Plot:
Reed (Ioan Gruffud) and Sue (Jessica Alba) are about to get married. But being a superhero couple makes having an undisturbed wedding rather difficult, especially since a series of global disturbances just caught Reed’s attention. But when a mysterious silver surfer crashes their wedding and causes a lot of destruction in New York, they realize that the disturbances are not actually limited to Earth itself.

I was talking with Arysuh about never having seen this film or the one before and that culminated in me watching and livetweeting both films while drinking vodka. You can read the entire thing after the jump, in lieu of a proper review. For a short summary know this: 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is abysmal. Not even alcohol makes it funny and I was cringing throughout most of the film. It’s sexist and boring. If you value your sanity, stay away.

fantasticfoursilversurfer[SPOILERS]

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Fantastic Four (2005)

Fantastic Four
Director: Tim Story
Writer: Mark Frost, Michael France
Based on: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby‘s comics
Cast: Ioan GruffuddJessica AlbaChris EvansMichael ChiklisJulian McMahonHamish LinklaterKerry WashingtonLaurie HoldenStan Lee

Plot:
Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and his partner Ben Grimm (Michael Chilkis) have been studying cosmic clouds but their funds have run out, just before such a cloud passes the earth. So they go to Victor von Doom (Julian McMahon), an old and very successful colleague of Reed’s. He decides to support their research and together the three of them, Sue Storm (Jessica Alba) and her brother Johnny (Chris Evans) head into space to look at the cloud up close. But then things go wrong and when they finally make it back to earth, they are changed forever.

I was talking with Arysuh about never having seen this film or the sequel and that culminated in me watching and livetweeting both films while drinking vodka. You can read the entire thing after the jump, in lieu of a proper review. For a short summary know this: Fantastic Four is not a particularly good movie, but it is sufficiently entertaining. Watch it with friends and/or with alcohol, and you’re going to have a good time. Just don’t really expect anything much from the script, the actors, the story, the director, … At least you can expect to see Chris Evans topless and Jessica Alba’s boobs a lot.

fantasticfour[SPOILERS]

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