When King Uther (Eric Bana) is betrayed by his brother Vortigern (Jude Law), Uther barely manages to get his baby out of the danger zone. The baby grows up to be Arthur (Charlie Hunnam) who has no idea of his family background, but gets a whole lot of street smarts. And then Uther’s sword is uncovered, stuck in a stone. Since it can only be removed by Uther’s son and nobody knows where he is, Vortigern forces all men in the country to give it a try. And nobody is more surprised than Arthur when he is actually able to pull the sword out – a fact that immediately pits him against Vortigern and the powers he commands.
I expected King Arthur to be pretty bad and it was, but it was also a little better than expected. Which is not to say that it’s actually a good film or really worth seeing.
Igor (Daniel Radcliffe) works in a circus as a clown. Due to his hump, he is decried as a freak and mistreated at every turn. People certainly aren’t seeing his medical talent, even though they are okay with him treating them. Things change drastically for Igor, when Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy) turns up in his circus one night. Victor realizes how much of a diamond in the rough Igor is, helps him to flee, cures him of his hump and enlists him in his own experiments: Victor is set on freeing the world from death itself.
How many Frankenstein adaptations does the world need? No matter, there’s always one more. Victor Frankenstein isn’t a particularly good one at that, but I’m pretty damn sure it is the gayest one in existence. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen gay porn that wasn’t that homoerotically charged. And that did make it pretty fun to watch.
D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) has dreamt of being a musketeer since about forever. Now he finally gets to go to the big city to fulfill said dream. But the first thing he does instead is get into trouble with Cardinal Richelieu’s (Christoph Waltz) henchman Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen) and then he makes duel dates with all three of the most famous muketeers: Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans). But before they really get down to it, they have to unite against the Cardinal’s men and are quickly drawn into a plot devised by the double-to-quadruple agent Milady (Milla Jovovich).
The Three Musketeers is just as you’d expect it: a movie that leaves most qualities behind and concentrates entirely on fun. It’s awesome.