Hellboy (2019)

Hellboy
Director: Neil Marshall
Writer: Andrew Cosby
Based on: Mike Mignola‘s character
Cast: David Harbour, Daniel Dae Kim, Sasha Lane, Mark Stanley, Brian Gleeson, Milla Jovovich, Penelope Mitchell, Ian McShane, Mario de la Rosa, Sophie Okonedo, Thomas Haden Church, Kristina Klebe, Stephen Graham
Seen on: 16.4.2019
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Content Note: misogyny, lookism

Plot:
Hellboy (David Harbour) works at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence together with his adoptive father, Professor Bruttenholm (Ian McShane). After a mission that did not go the way it was supposed to and that ends with Hellboy having to kill his partner and hearing that even worse is to come for him, he is not in a good place – and then he finds himself double-crossed to boot. And that’s not even the threat he was warned about. Teaming up with his colleagues Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim) and Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane), Hellboy has to face an ancient evil witch to stop the end of the world.

I really should have listened to the critics that seemed to unanimously pan this film, because, by god, it was so very bad. A waste of pretty much everything that went into the film.

The film poster showing Hellboy (David Harbour) in full-horned glory standing in flames, holding a sword.
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Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an amazing ride. I didn’t care much for the first movie and I didn’t read the comics, but give Guillermo del Toro a budget he can work with and I’m in. If only to watch the amazing creature design and set design.

And Hellboy was great in that department. It was generally much better than the first movie, in my opinion.

The plot has its holes and I was a bit miffed by the way Liz Sherman was handled [that girl can fight, why won’t you let her? And why wasn’t she allowed to touch Red apart from his hands and his face?]. But who cares, when I can watch huge stone men, wood gods and the Angel of Death? And of course, the Bouncy Elf of Doom [Seriously, was Nuada* made of rubber?].

I wouldn’t even have minded a whole movie animated like the prologue, that looked really, really cool.

It was a really funny movie (“fuck-yoused” is all I’m gonna say. No, let me add “Barry Manilow”) and I seriously loved the background details – the posters and billboards, the way the stone man turned around to look after them etc. etc.

Altogether, it was a feast for the eyes and made me even more excited for The Hobbit. If that’s possible.

*Speaking of Nuada, Deadra and me were equally impressed by Luke Goss‘ voice. An impression, which was completely destroyed after youtubing Bros. Either, his voice changed really, really late or he had some kind of voice distortion thingy.