When Harry (Brandon Maggart) was a child, Santa was demystified for him rather abruptly. Now Harry works as a toy maker and tries to get the Christmas spirit back. This has become a rather big obsession for him, with Harry slowly turning himself into Santa Claus. But after a couple of incidents at work, Harry snaps and starts believing he really is Santa – and most people around him are rotten and need to be punished.
Christmas Evil starts off strong but couldn’t keep my attention for the entirety of its duration. There’s a lot to like, but some things simply didn’t work in its favor.
Ashley (Olivia DeJonge) has been Luke’s (Levi Miller) babysitter for a while, and she knows that the two of the m usually have a good time. She doesn’t really realize that Luke has fallen in love with her, but he wants to do something about that – and he’s worked out a plan with his best friend Garrett (Ed Oxenbould). But all plans cease when the house comes under attack and Ashley has to fight off home invaders. Except there is something about the invaders that is a little weird.
Better Watch Out (I still saw it as Safe Neighborhood) is an entertaining and very well-made film that I really enjoyed a lot. I didn’t have many expectations, having heard practically nothing about the film beforehand, but I was pleasantly surprised.
Enzo (Claudio Santamaria) is a small time crook who works for Zingaro (Luca Marinelli). One night he has to run from the police and his only chance to escape is a jump into the heavily polluted Tiber river. It works and Enzo heads home. When he wakes up the next day, everything is different: Enzo now has superpowers and with them the chance to start fresh. Or at least to become a more competent robber. But superpowers won’t go unnoticed, neither by Zingaro nor by Enzo’s neighbor Ale (Ilenia Pastorelli).
Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot takes on USAmerican comic and superhero lore, mixes in a bit of manga and transplants them to Italy – an idea I generally liked. Unfortunately they took every single problematic trope with them in the process, leaving me less than impressed with the result.
When Johnny Frank Garrett (Devin Bonnée) was 18 years old, he was convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Now, almost two decades later, the sentence is to be finally carried out. But Johnny still insists he’s innocent and with his last breath he swears vengeance. It doesn’t take long after the execution that people connected to his case start dying.
I had never heard of the real story behind this film before seeing Johnny Frank Garrett’s Last Word. And now I kind of wish I had watched the documentary about the case instead of this film that got more exhausting with every minute that passed.
Julia (Jessica Lowndes) is a reporter who dreams of getting to write a big story. When her sister and her family is killed, her reporterly instincts kick in and she starts to investigate why a stranger with no connection to her family and apparently deeply regretful about his actions would take her entire family from her. With the help of her ex-boyfriend Declan (Joe Anderson), a police officer, Julia takes up a trail of mysteries that is connected to Jebediah Crone (Daytone Callie).
Abattoir works from an interesting idea and with strong visuals, but unfortunately the clichéd characters do take away some of the enjoyment. Still, it’s an interesting addition to horror movie lore.
Eli (Michael Patrick Nicholson) has hit rock bottom. Within only just a few hours, he finds himself homeless, jobless and dumped. It’s the perfect time for a fresh start then. And that’s when he meets Anya (Chelsea Lopez) through her boyfriend Kyle (Michael Godere). Eli finds himself drawn to her and his attraction seems to be reciprocated, but it’s only when they discover that they both like to eat their hair, when they really fall for each other. But it only takes a few days for things to spiral out of control.
Are We Not Cats did not work for me at all. The pacing was off and the ending pushed the film from slightly boring, but not uninteresting to absolutely ridiculous in no time at all.
Hank (Paul Dano) is stranded on a deserted island. His only company is Manny (Daniel Radcliffe). It’s just that Manny is actually dead. But he is still able to speak and his body has some absolutely perfect properties for Hank’s escape. So the two of them make their way back home. And the longer they travel together, the more they discover about each other.
It’s hard to put into words how strange Swiss Army Man actually is and how much that strangeness benefits it without it being a gimmick. Much too often, the strangeness of a film feels like posturing, here it is an absolutely central part of the film’s heart and soul – and it’s got a lot of those, transforming Swiss Army Man into a magical experience that is bound to make you emotional.
Colleen Collette (Lily-Rose Depp) and Colleen McKenzie (Harley Quinn Smith) have always been best friends. Now they share a passion for yoga, a boring job in a convenience store and a band with which they hope to become famous. But first: get through high school and maybe find a hot boyfriend like Hunter (Austin Butler), Colleen M’s crush, and his best friend Gordon (Tyler Posey). When the two of them invite the Colleens to a party, they are overjoyed. But things go very differently than expected – in a sudden Nazis, evil plot and satanism kind of way. It’s up to the Colleens to save the world.
Yoga Hosers wasn’t perfect, but it was entertaining, sweet and funny. I enjoyed most of it – especially after the clusterfuck that was Tusk.
After a fresh start in a new town, Elaine (Samantha Robinson) is looking for love. And she’s not above using her magic trying to find it. Her love potions do work, but maybe a little too strongly and men die. And then Detective Griff (Gian Keys) starts to investigate Elaine. And Detective Griff might just be the perfect guy Elaine has been waiting for.
The Love Witch is not only a film that looks great and perfectly emulates 60s to 70s aesthetics, it’s also an extremely fascinating take on feminist discourse. I absolutely loved it.
A man (Emmanuel Garijo) is shipwrecked and only barely makes it to land on a deserted island. He is a survivor and immediately starts with preparing a raft to leave the island. But a giant red turtle patrols the sea and destroys it. And the raft after that. And the raft after that. But when the turtle comes ashore, the man has his chance for revenge. But are they actually enemies?
La tortue rouge is a gorgeous film with a story that raised my eyebrow(s) more than once as I couldn’t really turn off my head to enjoy the film as would have probably been advisable. But I still liked it.