Totally F***ed Up
Director: Gregg Araki
Writer: Gregg Araki
Cast: James Duval, Roko Belic, Susan Behshid, Jenee Gill, Gilbert Luna, Lance May, Alan Boyce, Craig Gilmore
Seen on: 22.-23.5.2026

Content Note: suicide, (critical treatment of) queermisia

Plot:
Steven (Gilbert Luna) is a hobby filmmaker, chronicling the lives of his friends Andy (James Duval), Tommy (Roko Belic), Michele (Susan Behshid), Patricia (Jenee Gill), Deric (Lance May), and himself. They are all queer and have very little to hold them. Floating through their own lives with little to no support from their parents, exploring their sexualities and identities leaves them both detached and vulnerable.

Totally F***ed Up is a classic of queer cinema, and a rather experimental film. There is a lot about it that works, but it is also a little exhausting (though quite rightly so). The ending certainly hits hard.

Being a teenager is an alienating experience. In fact, alienation – that is detachment, separation from where you come from – is one of its key functions. But when you add even more stuff on top of that – like being queer in a non-accepting environment – it will leave you completely unmoored. And that is what happens to the teens in Totally F***ed Up. They have nothing that could provide them a safe harbor except each other, but how much safety can six equally unmoored teens give each other, really?

Living in a queermisic world increases their vulnerability, but the film also shows how much that shared queerness is also a resource for them which is important. Still, it’s quite obvious that things can’t really end well, at least not for all of them. And they don’t. But that you see it coming doesn’t mean that it has less of an impact.

The structure of the film – divided into 15 chapters, mostly home-movie-style – underscores the disjointed world the kids experience and how they try to make a home with each other. It was a really good choice by Araki, even though I also found it a little exhausting to watch at times. But maybe that’s just because I am well out of my teenage years by now. (I just accidentally typed „for now“ and the thought alone that puberty could hit me again made me shiver.)

I thought that the storyline revolving around the two girls here was a little flat – this is definitely more a film for and about the guys. But other than that, I still found Totally F***ed Up very much intriguing and absolutely worth engaging with.

Summarizing: by now a cult classic for a reason.