And now for something completely different. Moving away from the customary pop culture item of the week, let’s turn to food.

Food… isn’t it awesome? All life-sustaining and stuff? And so damn tasty… :P

Though I love all kinds of food (with the exception of intestines [with the exception of liver] which are, arguably, not food after all), there’s something special about the sweet stuff.

Imagine you’ve just eaten dinner and you’re full to the brim. The meal was excellent and you’ve overindulged yourself. Then somebody comes up and says, “Would you like a piece of meat?”

Your reaction would most likely be to explode on the spot.

But now replace the word “meat” with the word “cake” and suddenly some secret department in your stomach opens up and you notice, that, in fact, you’d love to have a piece of cake. But only a small one. No, a little bigger than that. A little bigger than that. A liiittle bigger. Perfect.

And then you eat like half a cake and are perfectly happy.

Or is that just me?

Anyway, here’s my Top 10 Desserts which, surprisingly, are not all sweet!

10. Cigarettes

Okay, okay, so technically not a dessert, I know. And I really don’t want to glamorise smoking here, which is an addictive, unhealthy and disgusting habit.

But there’s something to be said for lighting up a cigarette and leaning back on your chair after having finished an awesome meal. And not only that nicotine helps the digestion.

Plus, it’s like the most used desert at my place.

9. Cheese

The French say that cheese closes the stomach. [And recent studies have proven that they are kind of right.] And it’s just really nice to eat a couple of pieces of cheese (not too soft), maybe a grape or two to go with it, and it really feels like the stomach isn’t satisfied until it had that.

8. Fruits

Talking of grapes… Let’s get the healthy stuff outta the way (and finally start with the sweet stuff). Fruits are yummy. And they give you the sweetness when you crave it and still make you feel all health-conscious. Awesome.

7. Ice Cream

In summer, Ice Cream can not be beaten. In winter, you need to add hot fruits or hot chocolate sauce and it is a treat. The advantage of ice cream? There’s something there for everyone. Personally, I’m much in favour of fruity flavours and I really don’t want to see vanilla or malaga or straciatella, and chocolate only in emergencies. But there’s nothing easier than to buy a selection of various flavours and having one for everyone.

[And do I sound like a 50s house wife right now or is that only in my head?]

6. Red Fruit Jelly with Yoghurt

I have to admit that before I ever even tasted red fruit jelly, I already loved the German name: Grütze. Equally disturbing and fascinating, the onomatopoeia of this word definitely shaped my first encounter with the food itself. I probably had no choice but to love it.

That said, rote Grütze is really very good. Imagine jelly, but made with fresh fruit and a little more creamy. And just because it can be a tad sweet, add a little bit of yoghurt. It’s refreshing and rather light. And it’s very tasty.

[And I say that even though I usually hate puddings of all kind and this comes dangerously close.]

5. Mousse au Chocolat

Talking about puddings I do like, there’s also Mousse au Chocolat. Done right, it’s just a little bitter, a little heavy, and a lot like heaven. [Did I mention that one of my brothers is a cook and does the world’s best mousse au chocolat? Unfortunately, he prefers to cook for his girlfriend and not for me… Imagine that!]

4. Sachertorte

No Austrian could make this list without at least mentioning Sachertorte. Sachertorte is absolutely awesome. Chocolatey goodness personi cakified. But it doesn’t make it into the top 3 because it tends to be a little on the heavy side. Just a little bit, but still.

[Though it’s nothing compared to Starbucks’ chocolate cake which is like three meals all at once.]

3. Cheese Cake

Equally tasty, but just a little lighter than Sachertorte, we have cheese cake. Every traditional, self-respecting Austrian is now probably dying from shock that I’d include something so American in my list when Austrian pastry really is made of awesome… But cheese cake is amazing and there’s so much you can do with it [Last time I had Matcha Cheese Cake. I still crave it].

[And we have now reached the end of cake.]

2. Apple Pie

Apple Pie is almost as adaptable as Ice Cream. The only thing you really need to like is apples. Everything else can be changed. You can use a million different doughs, you can decide exactly how much apple you would like and then there are the possibilities of cinnamon, adding other fruits, maybe adding some cream or chocolate?

Honestly, apple pies are the chameleons of the pie world and they’re always tasty.

1. Apple Sauce

There’s probably nothing simpler than apple sauce (short of giving out the actual fruit) but it’s also the best desert ever – not too heavy, sweet and very yummy. If it’s not enough, you can always add whipped cream or yoghurt. And when you’ve got left overs, it’s awesome with pancakes and with meat.

Oh, I gotta stop before I start drooling…