A while ago, 9 young aliens and their protectors were sent to earth by a race that was about to be exterminated. The 9 children belong to a group of sentinels that are supposed to protect and rebuild their race. But the evil aliens that wiped out their entire world have arrived on earth, too and are now wiping out the remaining kids one by one. They already got to three – now it’s John/Number Four’s (Alex Pettyfer) turn.
I expected I Am Number Four to be so bad as to be hilarious. Unfortunately, the movie falls short of the mark and remains only really, really bad with some hilarious moments.
The plot is so riddled with holes, I hesitate to call it a plot at all. The basic premise alone… why do they have to be killed in order? Why do they have an order at all? Later, when Four and Six (Teresa Palmer) team up, would the evil aliens have killed Four, left Six to look for Five and then come back to kill Six? If they’re that much stronger together, why were they separated? If knowledge of the Chimeras isn’t secret, why doesn’t Henri (Timothy Olyphant) know or tell Four? And that’s just a few of the questions.
But even if you don’t think that a movie this crappy needs a coherent plot – and frankly, it doesn’t – the movie still won’t really work for you because it’s also badly paced and ends up feeling about five hours longer than it actually is.
That said, the movie has some deliciously ridiculous moments. Like when Four insists that he knows how to blend in in a high school and the next thing we see is how he puts up his hoodie in the school parking lot. Or how Sarah (Dianna Agron) complains about being thought a snob while clutching a retro camera and wearing a beret. Or how they start developing photos while being hunted by the bad aliens, so Sarah can see who Four really is through the photos he took for her. [Yes. It’s that cheesy.]
The performances are really bad. Dianna Agron, who had a fighting chance, is defeated by her make-up which makes her look like a corpse [and I usually don’t even notice make-up]. But the cast honestly tries and I think that was one of the biggest problems: If they had just gone for full ham, this movie could have fulfilled is hilarity-potential.As it was, it remains flat.
Summarising: It’s not worth it.