Baywatch (2017)

Baywatch
Director: Seth Gordon
Writer: Damian ShannonMark Swift
Based on: the TV series
Cast: Dwayne JohnsonZac EfronPriyanka ChopraAlexandra DaddarioKelly RohrbachIlfenesh HaderaJon BassYahya Abdul-Mateen IIHannibal BuressRob HuebelDavid HasselhoffPamela Anderson
Seen on: 4.6.2017
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Plot:
It’s time to find new recruits for the lifeguards of Emerald Bay, the Baywatch. Overseen by Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), the recruits prepare for a tough competition. All but Matt Brody (Zac Efron) that is, who finds that he shouldn’t have to prove himself at all since he’s an Olympic swimmer and Baywatch would be lucky to have him. But when a new drug hits the Bay, Mitch and Matt take it upon themselves despite their personal differences to clean up their bay and bring those responsible to justice.

I expected Baywatch to be stupid, sexist and childish, but with charm machine Dwayne Johnson at the helm, I thought it would still entertain regardless. But while the first part of my expectations came true – it is stupid, sexist and childish – the latter part unfortunately fell flat. The script is so bad, not even Johnson can save it.

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Director: James Gunn
Writer: James Gunn
Based on: Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning‘s comic
Sequel to: Guardians of the Galaxy
Cast: Chris PrattZoe SaldanaDave BautistaVin DieselBradley CooperMichael RookerKaren GillanPom KlementieffSylvester StalloneKurt RussellElizabeth DebickiChris SullivanSean Gunn, Seth Green, Michael Rosenbaum, David HasselhoffVing RhamesMichelle Yeoh, Jeff GoldblumStan Lee
Part of: Marvel movies
Seen on: 3.5.2017

Plot:
Peter (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax (Dave Bautista), Rocket (Bradley Cooper) and Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) have made quite a reputation for themselves. People have even started to ask them for help. But it’s not easy to leave your old habits behind and when Rocket not only helps but also steals, one thing leads to another and the group find themselves crashing on a planet where they meet Ego (Kurt Russell) and Mantis (Pom Klementieff). This is not a coincidence: Ego tells Peter that he is his father, throwing him for quite a loop. But trouble has only just begun.

I was not a fan of the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie to begin with, and I thought that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was even weaker. At least Baby Groot was cute.

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Piranha 3DD (2012)

Piranha 3DD
Director: John Gulager
Writer: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Joel Soisson
Sequel to: Piranha
Cast: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Katrina Bowden, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Chris Zylka, Paul James Jordan, Meagan Tandy, David Koechner, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Gary Busey, David Hasselhoff
Part of: /slash Filmfestival

Plot:
After the death of her mother, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) and her stepdad Chet (David Koechner) inherited the family’s waterpark. Unfortunately for Maddy, Chet owns 51% and has very specific plans for the park (they mostly include boobs and parties). But right before the opening, with star guest David Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff), Maddy’s friend is attacked by piranhas in a nearby lake. Maddy worries that the fish will find their way into the park. But nobody takes her seriously.

By no means is Piranha 3DD a good film. But watching it during a film festival in a sold out cinema that greeted you with David Hasselhoff songs to get you in the mood and with a cup of vodka, graciously given by a fellow festival-goer, in hand, it was an absolutely glorious experience.

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