Countdown (2019)

Countdown
Director: Justin Dec
Writer: Justin Dec
Cast: Elizabeth Lail, Jordan Calloway, Talitha Eliana Bateman, Peter Facinelli, Dillon Lane, Tichina Arnold, Tom Segura, P.J. Byrne
Seen on: 8.2.2020

Plot:
An app keeps making the rounds that supposedly knows the exact moment you will die. It also reaches nurse Quinn (Elizabeth Lail) at her hospital in the shape of a patient who just lost his girlfriend and is convinced he will die himself now. Quinn is doubtful, but when all her colleagues download the app, she does, too. It tells her, she has only a few days left. Quinn shakes it off – until her patient dies under suspicous circumstances. Then a race against time starts for Quinn to figure out how she can stop her own death.

I did not expect much from Countdown – and it really wasn’t any good. Too many things didn’t make sense or were ouright ridiculous. At least there was entertainment to be had in taking it apart afterwards.

The film poster showing a dead hand holding a cellphone that shows a counter at zero.

[SPOILERS]

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Re-Watch: The Scorpion King (2002)

The Scorpion King
Director: Chuck Russell
Writer: Stephen Sommers, William Osborne, David Hayter
Prequel to: The Mummy Returns
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Kelly Hu, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Bernard Hill, Grant Heslov, Peter Facinelli

Plot:
Memnon (Steven Brand) is taking over the world, one battle at a time, with the help of Cassandra’s (Kelly Hu) prophecies. The few remaining tribes come together and hire Mathayus (Dwayne Johnson) to try and stop Memnon by killing the sorceress. But things go differently than planned and Mathayus finds himself in the desert with a small-time crook (Grant Heslov) and said sorceress who is still very much alive. It seems destiny has a bigger fate in store for Mathayus.

Oh, I can not even begin to explain how much nostalgia is attached to this film in my head. Without that I probably wouldn’t like it as much as I do, though it would still be an amazingly cheesy, entertaining schlockfest.

the_scorpion_king

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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (2012)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
Director: Bill Condon
Writer: Melissa Rosenberg
Based on: Stephenie Meyer‘s book
Sequel to: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn – Part 1
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Mackenzie Foye, Maggie Grace, Dakota Fanning, MyAnna Buring, Rami Malek, Joe Anderson, and for me most importantly Lee Pace

Plot:
Bella (Kristen Stewart) survived the birth of her daughter Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) and is quickly adapting to having become a vampire like Edward (Robert Pattinson). But the arrival of a half-human, half-vampire child causes quite a few ripples in the vampire community. And when the Volturi hear about it, they believe that Bella and Edward turned a human child into a vampire – a capital offense they will make sure will be punished.

Well, it is over. I think that is about the best one can say about this. But they manage to have basically nothing happen in the movie at all (though they did force some action in, and quite cleverly I might add) and to not resolve anything, really. And I think that if you haven’t read the books, the whole thing only makes a limited amount of sense. At least, with 3/4 of a rum bottle I shared with C. during the film, it was quite entertaining.

breaking-dawn-part-2

[SPOILERS]

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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
Director: Bill Condon
Writer: Melissa Rosenberg
Based on: Stephenie Meyer‘s book
Sequel to: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Anna Kendrick, (and for way too little time: Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Dakota Fanning)

Plot:
Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are finally getting married and Jacob (Taylor Lautner) even stops sulking long enough to talk to Bella for five minutes, before Edward whisks her off to their own private honeymoon island. Within a few days, Bella realizes that she is pregnant. Since Edward is a vampire that should be impossible. And that’s only the beginning of the trouble.

Breaking Dawn was pretty much what you’d expect it would be – only that I undererstimated the amount of alcohol I would need to get through it and then we hit the birth and I wasn’t drunk yet and then we hit the imprinting and I had to beg aber_karramba for some of hers because I was all out. [See also.]
But apart from that, given the source material, the film wasn’t actually that bad.

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