The Scorpion King
Director: Chuck Russell
Writer: Stephen Sommers, William Osborne, David Hayter
Prequel to: The Mummy Returns
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Kelly Hu, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Bernard Hill, Grant Heslov, Peter Facinelli

Plot:
Memnon (Steven Brand) is taking over the world, one battle at a time, with the help of Cassandra’s (Kelly Hu) prophecies. The few remaining tribes come together and hire Mathayus (Dwayne Johnson) to try and stop Memnon by killing the sorceress. But things go differently than planned and Mathayus finds himself in the desert with a small-time crook (Grant Heslov) and said sorceress who is still very much alive. It seems destiny has a bigger fate in store for Mathayus.

Oh, I can not even begin to explain how much nostalgia is attached to this film in my head. Without that I probably wouldn’t like it as much as I do, though it would still be an amazingly cheesy, entertaining schlockfest.

Let me be clear about it: this movie is not good. It’s not as purposefully funny as The Mummy and objectively certainly not as entertaining. But it has the distinct advantage of Dwayne Johnson. A lot of Dwayne Johnson. And there are really worse ways to spend your time than ogling The Rock.

But even if you’re not that much into muscles, a good face and a sense of humor, the movie still has enough entertainment value. Bernard Hill is great. Michael Clarke Duncan, too. And Kelly Hu is pretty damn kick-ass, too. [SPOILER] I liked how she didn’t lose her powers with her virginity, that it was only a story she told to protect herself from unwanted advances. [/SPOILERS]

It is quite fascinating, though, how this plot here fits in with the plot of The Mummy Returns. That is to say, it doesn’t fit at all. I guess I’m gonna have to watch the sequels to find out how they’ll work that out.

I was surprised by how much I remembered of the movie, altogether. Especially the ending. And after finishing the film I had to listen to Godsmack’s I Stand Alone for a while (I was so obsessed with this song for two weeks in 2002, it was not even funny anymore).

Summarising: Entertaining, especially with added nostalgia, but also without.