Plot: Caleb (Steven Strait), Pogue (Taylor Kitsch), Tyler (Chase Crawford) and Reid (Toby Hemingway) are known as the Sons of Ipswich, direct descendants of the witches persecuted in Salem. What the people around them don’t know is that they actually do have magic powers. A new year at their school brings the promise to come into their full powers when they turn 18, and it also brings new people – like Sarah (Laura Ramsey), who Caleb feels immediately drawn to, and Chase (Sebastian Stan) who may be more than it seems at first.
I had heard of The Covenant mostly from people who like Sebastian Stan a lot and I got the distinct impression that this film was pretty good. Well, reader, it was not, on really any level.
Plot: Gang boss Hercules (Henry Rollins) hires hitman Johnny (Stephen McHattie) to bring him the pinky of a trumpet player who is only known as The Maestro (Stephen McHattie). It should be a straight-forward job, but things get more complicated than expected at first – as they usually do.
It took all about 15 minutes until I looked at my watch for the first time, only to despair that only 15 minutes had passed so far. Mercifully, I fell asleep soon after that and escaped the biggest part of the film, which is why I’m counting it as “did not finish”, even if I woke up to see the showdown, which worked as little for me as the first part of the film. What happened that brought me down so much? It definitely had to do with the sound and the exhausting moments. Even if there were a couple of entertaining moments (the robbery of the pawn shop), the pacing was way off. And McHattie’s double role was a problem to. At first I didn’t realize that he was actually supposed to be two different people, and then I thought it was incredibly stilted. Overall, I’d probably have slept better at home, but at least I slept.
Plot: Norval (Elijah Wood) doesn’t have a great life. He lives with his mother, struggles with alcoholism and his life just doesn’t seem to go anywhere. That’s when a letter from his father reaches him – the father he hasn’t seen since he was a kid. He asks Norval to come for a visit, so he packs his bag and sets off, hoping to reconnect. But when he sees Gordon (Stephen McHattie), it quickly becomes obvious that the bonding that Norval was hoping for probably isn’t going to happen. And then things get worse.
Come to Daddy starts off okay and then gets increasingly more boring and I grew ever more disinterested in any of what was happening, especially since it is a film that is very invested in toxic masculinity. No, thank you.
Plot: Quiet, mousy Rose (Laura Vadervoort) works in the fashion industry as an assistant who dreams of becoming a designer. But when she is disfigured in an accident, her entire life takes a turn. She agrees to participate in a new treatment and the results are astonishing, giving her model looks. Rose would be very happy – if there wasn’t a side-effect for the treatment that she could not see coming.
Rabid is a solid film with good performances, but also a couple of lengths and a weird obsession with “purity”. Overall, it was pretty okay, but didn’t quite get all the way to good.
A couple (Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem) has just moved into a new house. He dreams of finding the inspiration to write there, while she painstakingly renovates the house. One night their routine is interrupted by a man (Ed Harris) who knocks on their door, thinking they are running a bed and breakfast. The writer is overjoyed at the change in routine and invites the man to stay the night, while she is more cautious. Things take a turn for the worse, when the man’s wife (Michelle Pfeiffer) arrives the next day.
I expected bad things of Mother! and was pretty happy when things weren’t as bad as I expected them to be. But that’s not the same as saying that I was happy with the film: despite his strengths, I wasn’t too taken with it.
On the surface Lisa (Abigail Breslin) has a normal life with her parents (Peter Outerbridge, Michelle Nolden) and her brother (Peter DaCunha). But actually they all died years ago and have been reliving the same Sunday ever since. Only Lisa finally woke up and noticed the repetition. And with that, shadows start to appear, voices can be heard and things become more and more off. And through all that, Lisa finds a connection to other girls.
Haunter wasn’t always perfectly logical but I thought that the concept was interesting, the movie atmospheric and I was generally entertained.
Julia (Jessica Biel) is the nurse in a small mining town that is slowly dying. There is barely any work and the continuous disappearance of children is also eroding the moral and social structure. According to town legend, it’s the Tall Man who takes the kids. Julia seems doubtful about that legend – but then her own child is taken. But Julia won’t give up and starts the slow unraveling of the events in the town.
The movie starts off absolutely great: it’s tense and scary and woah. But then the plot twists start and as soon as that happens, the tension goes out of the film and I just wanted to roll my eyes.
Steve (Kristopher Turner) is about to get married to Tina (Crystal Lowe). Unfortunately Tina and Steve’s sister Sarah (Kristen Hager) don’t get along at all – which Steve tries to remedy by taking them, including Sarah’s husband and Steve’s best friend Craig (Shawn Roberts) to the family cabin. But things go from bad to worse when Steve is bitten by a zombie mosquito and slowly starts craving brains and transforming in general.
A Little Bit Zombie has its moments, but mostly it has a rather shallow and cheap sense of humor. But worse than that, the direction was really, really bad. And I mean fucking abysmal.
Towards the end of the Civil War, the dead start to rise and throw the US into ruin. Edward Young (Mark Gibson) returns home to find his wife (un)dead and his son missing. He searches for his son, but in the end, can only save him from being a zombie. Otherwise at a complete loss, he decides to take the ashes of his son to the other end of the US, to a place they talked about before. Of course, a cross-country teck through a zombie-infested area is not easily done.
I had high hopes for this film – I just love the concept of historical zombies. Unfortunately, the movie really is boring beyond compare. It is astonishing how boring a movie can be, really.