In case you don’t: The Dark Knight, Batman, Christian Bale, Christian Bale’s yummy ass, Christian Bale’s other yummy features, Bruce Wayne, The Joker, Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, Rachel Dawes, quotes, but also, sadly, refrigerators. And anything else that keeps me from swooning in the middle of this post.

So, yesterday was Christmas. And Easter. And my birthday. And every other holiday in the world that means anything to me or anybody else. And of course, yesterday was the premiere of The Dark Knight in Austria.

Where should I start? I guess, best by saying that my expectations were so high, they were nearly beyond achievable, but this movie did it anyway. It’s a wonderful feeling, when you can expect so much and still leave the movie theatre completely satisfied.

[If there’s anybody left, who hasn’t seen the movie yet (like all the Austrians, who didn’t get premiere tickets), be warned, after the picture and the break, there will be SPOILERS!]

There’s so much I want to say about this movie,  I really don’t know where to start, or how I will fit it all in one post. [You should see me now, I’m scaring myself with the tempo I type in…]

Batman/The Dark Knight/Bruce Wayne:
Okay, just to get it out of my system: Christian Bale is sooooo fucking hot. *sigh*
Good, now I can focus on the other stuff. His acting: impeccable. Perfect. I love – also loved it in Batman Begins – they way he changes his voice, when he’s Batman.
The way Batman’s portrayed: It’s everything I ever loved about him, just more intense. His conflict with what and who he is, who he has to be. His self-sacrifice. His commitment. His failures. His dark side. It’s like the Nolans (Jonathan and Christopher) looked inside my head and saw “my” batman, carefully removed him from there and made him clearer.
What hurt a lot, though, was that they let the Joker win. Batman’s one rule is to never kill the people he “hunts”. And the Joker brought him to break it, by killing Harvey Dent/Two-Face.

The Joker:
Just to remind you:

As much as I loved Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger just enters a whole new universe of batshit insane. Apart from the obvious stuff like blowing things up, killing, abducting and wearing clown’s make-up, there’s the story he tells about how he got his scars. [Those would be wonderful stories, by the way, very sad and depressing, yes, but they are really good stories.] There’s his constant quoting of movies (“You complete me.“, “You remind me of my father. I HATE my father.”, which I am sure I have heard in a movie before, I just can’t remember which one. Equally, deadra is sure she heard, “I’m like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn’t know what do with it, if I caught one.” before, but can’t remember, where, either. imdb doesn’t know. Googling doesn’t help, so if you know, where those quotes are from, please let me know).
He really is scary as hell.

Harvey Dent/The White Knight/Two-Face:
Again, to remind you:

Tommy Lee Jones‘s Two-Face is almost funny. Aaron Eckhart‘s is really scary. And so very tragic.
I wouldn’t have thought that I could be much surprised by the movie, as much as I read about it before, but that Two-Face dies in the end, really caught me by surprise. My guess was that they’d keep him for a next movie.
The way his story was told, his fall, if you will, was amazing. Not one moment off. Although I knew that Harvey Dent would become Two-Face, I hoped till last that somehow, it wouldn’t happen, that they would find a way around that, that Harvey Dent could stay whole.
I loved that at first his coin was all white, all heads, all good, but then gets burned, just like him. Wonderful symbol.

James Gordon:
I always loved Lieutenant Commissioner James Gordon. Gary Oldman is just the perfect cast for him. His fake death, though, was one of the weaker points in the movie, I think.
But, in my opinion, he has the best quotes in the whole movie (Although the Joker and Alfred are good candidates as well):
[About Dent]: He’s not the hero Gotham deserves right now, but he’s the hero it needs.
[About Batman]: Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now…and so we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector…a dark knight.
[About himself]: I don’t get political points for being an idealist… I have to do the best I can with what I have.

Rachel Dawes:
Rachel is cool. Maggie Gyllenhaal is cool and it was probably the best decision ever to get her and not The Annoying One to play Rachel.
I like that this summer, we already have three strong women in comic adaptations – Rachel Dawes, Pepper Potts and Betty Ross. Not so easy to find, unfortunately. And then they go and destroy it all by fridgeing Rachel…
Don’t get me wrong, still really, really like the movie. And I understand that you need a trigger for Two-Face and that Bruce Wayne wouldn’t be Bruce Wayne without him dating tons of women. But reducing Rachel to that – to the trigger for the future lifestyles of two guys – is pretty sad… She would have deserved better.

Alfred:
I love Alfred. I love his dry humour and his biting commentary. And I love that he’s played by Michael Caine. What more could you ask for in a butler?
I also like that it gets shown that his relationship with Bruce is so much more than the simple butler-master relationship, and how deep it actually goes.

Summarising
I excpected darkness and I got darkness. Almost depressingly much so. There’s nobody, who stays a good guy, not Harvey Dent, obviously, not the Batman, but also not James Gordon. The way he hurt his family by posing dead – not good. Maybe the best decision he could make in the situation, but still not a good decision. The same can be said about Alfred destroying Rachel’s letter.
I mean, the best guy was probably this large black dude with the nice branding on his neck, who throws the detonator overboard. And even he was one of the mobsters.
What I didn’t expect was how funny it and especially the Joker was at the same time. And I mean laugh out loud funny. (“You complete me.” Hilarious! “How about a magic trick? I’m going to make that pencil disappear.” Macabre and great.)
That Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) had another appearance was pretty cool. I like that.

What I sure as hell didn’t expect was that they gave us a 15 minutes intermission. Not necessary, people. Not necessary at all.

Now, I want that they get to work on a third movie again, right away. This time, I want to see Cat Woman. A good Cat Woman. One who’s worthy of that name. [Yeah, I’ll never have enough.] In the meantime, I guess I will be seeing this one again.