Cyst
Director: Tyler Russell
Writer: Tyler Russell, Andy Silverman
Cast: Eva Habermann, George Hardy, Greg Sestero, Jason Douglas, Gene Jones, Darren Ewing, Torren Davis, Terri Merritt Bennett, Keturah Branch, Francesca Santoro
Part of: SLASH 1/2 Festival
Seen on: 20.6.2021
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Plot:
Patricia (Eva Habermann) has been working as a nurse for Dr Guy (George Hardy) for a while now and she has seen her fair share of things. Dr. Guy’s foremost area of expertise are cysts and he has been working on a machine for the treatment that he hopes to patent. But the last time he tried, Patricia paid the price for it, so when she hears that the people from the patent office are coming again to see the machine, she is outraged. Not even she could have predicted the actual effect of the machine, though.

Cyst leans into its schlocky B-movie nature and that is fun, but maybe not for a full-length feature. It was okay, overall, but not quite as fun as I expected it to be.

It’s not easy to make a film that is bad on purpose. Most of the so-bad-they’re-cult classics were not meant to be bad, it just turned out that way. Cyst pays hommage to two of the most famous films that fall into that category with its casting of George Hardy and Darren Ewing (of Troll 2 fame, having Ewing even play with his famous line) and Greg Sestero (from The Room), but sometimes it might be trying a little too hard.

Personally, I thought that Hardy was way too over the top with his performance. I know it’s kind of the point, but this is definitely a case of less is more. Habermann, on the other hand, nails the balance between actual acting and exaggeration. But your mileage may vary regarding this.

The practical effects were really nice, though. After the disgusting first scenes, the monster was almost kind of cute. But overall, you’ll probably need a good stomach to deal with all ther pus and other bodily fluids.

The showdown did drag on a bit, though, and made me think that maybe, a 20 minute short would have been enough for this film – the concept isn’t quite enough for a full-length movie, despite some honestly awesome jokes (the reflex hammer!). So, my excitement about it was limited, but it is definitely watchable.

Summarizing: if you like B-movies, go for it.