Terminator Salvation (2009)

Terminator Salvation is part four of the Terminator movies, directed by McG and starring Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood, Anton Yelchin and Helena Bonham-Carter.

Plot:
It’s the future and the machines have almost completely taken over the world. There’s a small band of humans left who fight against them, led by John Connor (Christian Bale) who is at the moment looking for his teenage father Kyle (Anton Yelchin) (who got to be his father through time travel).
At the same time a young man (Sam Worthington) who doesn’t know anything about what’s going on makes his way through the world, discovering that he’s not quite human.

I never was a big Terminator fan. I watched the first two in preparation for the movie, but then couldn’t be bothered to watch number three. I went to the cinema for the cast. But because of that my hopes were rather high – the cast is really good and the premise is interesting (and from the trailer it seemed like they would take it to interesting places), plus I didn’t have any emotional attachment to the old movies which could be damaged by a reinterpretation of the series. Even when the first abysmal reviews came in, I still had hopes that it only sucked for people who liked the previous movies.

No such luck. This movie sucks for everybody.

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[SPOILERS]

They had the beginning of this really interesting premise – which started in T2 – about the blurring of lines between machines and humans with Marcus. He doesn’t know that he’s half a machine and it seems like being half a machine made him a better human (judging from his absolute psychoness in the beginning and his relative sanity later). Yet what we get is the most superficial treatment of the questions this raises possible.

I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more from the writers of such timeless classics like Catwoman. [Seriously, why are they still allowed to write stuff? Did nobody in Hollywood see Catwoman?] I don’t know how far Jonathan Nolan’s involvement in all this is (he doesn’t show up in the credits), but if he contributed one word to this disaster, I can only say: SHAME ON HIM!

But apart from missed chances there’s plotholes the size of the universe, corny dialogue and oh, for fuck’s sake, more misogyny than I thought possible [only half of the female characters get a name and Ms. Connor does nothing but look worried and be pregnant etc]. Messy, messier, messed up.

terminator_salvation2

The directing/editing sucked ass as well. In the more action filled scenes I got either bored or I didn’t know anymore what was going on. In short, the pacing was completely off.

How you can have a good cast like this and totally waste it is beyond me… I mean, Christian Bale can act but he needs good directing. Obvious fail on this account. Sam Worthington is a surprisingly good actor but got left alone with a flimsy character. Helena Bonham-Carter was so cartoonish in her role, I couldn’t really take her seriously. And Anton Yelchin, one of the most talented young actors around, gets a role with the range of a tadpole. Guuurrr-eat.

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Seriously, don’t waste your time or money on this.

The most fun deadra and I had with the movie was when we got out and deadra said, “So, Chekov is John Connor’s father?” We then spend the rest of the evening designing a Unifying Theory of the Science Fiction Film and TV Universe (UTSFFTVU). [Surprisingly, it was the hardest to get Star Wars included… who would have thought?]

10 thoughts on “Terminator Salvation (2009)

  1. I almost thought Christian Bale might blind you to its suckiness. I’m glad to see your judgement is intact :)

    And is it misogyny when they just ignore woman? :)

    • Oh no, so far, I still rule my libido, not vice versa. ;)

      Well, I’d say, completely ignoring half of the population [or if other wars are any indication, since more men tend to die than women, more than half the population], and not even seeing them as so much of a person that they deserve a name, their own agenda or a personality is pretty hateful.

  2. I don’t remember the exact rules we had, but I think I did it!!!

    If we allowed comic adaptations, I have Ray Park, who was Darth Maul and Toad in X-Men. (Which would explain many things. Also, that scene with Storm-from-out-the-elevator would have benefitted from a lightsabre.)
    And if we stray into the Who-verse (which we did, I think), there’s Silas Carlson, who was Ki-Ai-Mundi (and Nute Gunray, and a few others) on Star Wars before he became an Ood…or all the Ood, I guess.

    • Perfect!

      We did count X-Men as Science Fiction. And we did get from Star Wars to Star Trek by James Earle Jones, if I remember correctly, but it was a rather tenuous connection. It’s good to have it made stronger.

      And the Who-Verse: OF COURSE! There was Simon Pegg, who was both in Star Trek and in Doctor Who.

      The only thing still missing, I think, is The Hitchhiker’s Guide…

      • Hitchhiker:

        Most Tedious Link: Warwick Davis (the actor who *played* Marvin but didn’t speak the role, was also an uncredited citizen of Mos Espa in Phantom Menace)

        Less tedious links:
        Sam Rockwell was also in Galaxy Quest
        Steve Pemberton (Mr Prosser) was Mr Lux in Dr Who (the millionaire who owns The Library)

        Just for the sake of creating additional links:
        Ian McNeice, the voice of Kwaltz, was Count Vladimir Harkonnen in the 2003-version of Children of Dune.

        This is soooo much easier if you’re doing it at home with IMDB instead of in a falafel-restaurant.

  3. Pingback: Terminator Genisys (2015) | kalafudra's Stuff

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